by Oretha Slone

Created on: May 12, 2008

I believe that the best time to start trying again is as soon as YOU are ready. It is hard to make that decision after such a loss.

After giving birth to a daughter with no complications, I never dreamed I would have a miscarriage. But I did. Two in fact. My husband and I tried for eleven years to have another child. Only to have a miscarriage at four months then another at four weeks, two years apart. After each, we started trying again within four to six weeks. But we still had no luck for the next five years. It was a very heartbreaking time for me. I felt useless as a woman being unable to carry a baby. I was so afraid to try again, it put such a strain on my marriage and on my daughter. All I could see was my pain after my miscarriages, I didn't think it would hurt my husband so much or our daughter. But it did. Both were devastated. My depression almost ended my marriage at one point. But we worked through our sorrow and decided to put our efforts to work in another area, all without giving up hope on getting pregnant and having our own baby one day.

So we started looking into adoption and foster care. We found two boys (brothers) who needed a good home. Naturally, we loved them from the first moment we saw them. They were two and four years old at the time. They came with a lot of baggage, but we went into this with our eyes open. Out daughter was thrilled. She finally had not one, but two brothers to love. Within six months of gaining custody, we were shocked to find out that we were pregnant. We were thrilled, but at the same time, looked to have another heartbreak. But our luck held out this time. We gave birth to a healthy 8lb 14oz boy. Then two years later, we had a healthy 8lb 8oz girl. We didn't buy anything for the first baby till we were past the first four months, and the same for the next. I guess you could say we were paranoid. That was just over one year ago. What a family we have now!

But even with these new babies and our wonderful "miracle" sons we are trying to adopt, I still grieve the loss of the two miscarriages I had. It is a very hard thing to get over. But I never totally gave up, we decided to try, try again. By never giving up, we gained everything we ever wanted and more. Even if adoption or fostering ends up being your only choices, they both can still be very rewarding. There is nothing like having a child to love and care for to help mend the soul and make your heart burst with pure joy.

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