by Janice Fahy

Created on: May 12, 2008

How To Make Time for Your Marriage (A Guide for Working Moms)

Working moms want to have working marriages, and one of the challenges many of us face is how to carve out time with our spouse. Between the demands of raising a family and pleasing a boss, some of us find that our primary relationship can get lost in the shuffle. As we shuttle children to soccer practice and projects between departments, it's not uncommon for days to go by when the most meaningful communications with our husband happen over email and cell phones and the family calendar on the bulletin board in the kitchen.

But nurturing our marriage as an individual relationship separate from kids and career is key. After all, he's the one that made us want to take jump off the cliff and take this wild ride. Studies show that the most satisfied moms and most effective employees are, first and foremost, happy in their marriages. We all have 24 hours in a day, and we all put our time and energy towards the things we cherish the most. With this in mind, here are some little things that can make a big difference in sustaining a happy relationship.

1. Have dinner together as a family as often as possible. This is one of the most important "rules" my husband and I have implemented. On the surface, it doesn't seem like this is devoting time to just the two of us. In reality, when we all have dinner together, both of us can hear what happened during each other's day. Then we don't have to spend our alone time playing catch-up with everything that's going on with the kids and our bosses.

2. At least one night during the work week, make the time you have after the kids are in bed a no-technology zone. This means no televisions, computers or Blackberrys. It also means no paperwork or housework. Spend this hour or two doing something together that you both like to do. It doesn't have to be sensual, but it certainly can be! Play a game of backgammon. Plan a trip or an adventure. Do some gardening. Listen to music. There were lots of things your husband and you used to like to do together before children changed the landscape of your relationship. Remember these things and do them. Or try out some new things that you both want to do.

3. Find a babysitter you trust and have a date night once a weekend. My husband and I have a weekly date night every Friday. We have done this since my sons were 1 and 3. Often, we just go to dinner and a movie. Sometimes we go shopping, meet up with friends, go to a party or attend an

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