As a school teacher the question most parents ask me is, "How do I get Johnny to do his homework? He just won't do it. It's a battle every night." Well, prior to being a parent myself, I thought homework was easy. You, as devoted parents, set a routine time and place for little Johnny to do his homework. And little Johnny will happily and obediently put pencil to paper. Then after an hour or so, you, as the devoted parents, will sit down with little Johnny and review the homework together and hug. HA! That delusional fairy tale ended the day my daughter began bringing home her homework! I saw no happy face. I heard no obedient words. There were no hugs. Instead my mild manner child turned into a two headed monster with a waspish tongue. And let's face it, homework is tedious. How many of us adults, come home from work with homework? How many of us want to sit down after an eight hour day and dive into more work? So why do we expect our children to gladly and happily hop into homework?
Homework doesn't have to be a nightly battle of wills. It can be done with relative ease, most of the time. The tips I have are the same that I give the parents of my students, and they're the same ones I use with my own child.
Tip 1: Discuss, Decide, Draw. Before homework season begins, discuss as a family what the homework routine will be. Allow all family members to have input. Decided what the rules, rewards, and consequences for homework time are. Perhaps a reward is a sticker on the sticker chart (younger kids) or five extra minutes earned on a video game or staying up past Friday night bedtime. A consequence is a removal of a sticker or five less minutes on a video game. Then as a family draw up your homework routine, rules, rewards, and consequences and post it on the refrigerator or bulletin board.
Tip 2: Routine. Establish a routine for when and where homework will be done. Routines help children stay focused. They know what to expect. Plus routines prevent fewer battles of the wills from occurring. In my house, homework is sandwiched between food and fun. We eat dinner; do homework, and then a fun activity.
Tip 3: Choices! Sit down with your children and give them two homework assignments to choose from. Allow your children to choose which assignment they want to complete first. It's important that you, the parent, set the boundaries and give them two choices, instead of saying you choose what you want to do because we all know where that will lead-no homework completed. Plus by allowing your children to make the choice, you are giving them a sense of ownership and control, which all children want to feel. However, when your children say I don't know what to choose, then step in. Politely, but firmly remind your children that if they cannot make a choice, you will make it for them and they'll have to complete the assignment that you chose. Also give your children a time limit to make their choices. Allow them one minute to make a choice. After a minute has passed, either your children will have chosen, or you will. Now, this is a prime argument time. However, remain calm. Calmly remind your children of the rules and consequences. Keep calmly reminding them until they comply.
Tip 4: Five minute fun time and timers. Set the kitchen timer for thirty minutes of study time. You as the parents can either check up on your children's progress, or for the little kids you will have to sit with them. Once the timer beeps, allow your children a five minute brain break. Give those five minutes to get a drink, stretch their legs, or just veg out. Once the brain break is over, set the timer for another thirty minutes.
Tip 5: Duty calls. A parent's duty during homework time is to help your children when they get stuck on a problem or difficult word. You must be available whenever duty calls to help your children succeed on their homework. But what if you don't know the answer? Hopefully you have access to your children's teacher through email or voice mail. If you're stuck on a problem, circle it and leave the teacher a message about the problem. Or you can even write a note next to the problem. As a teacher, I have had kids and parents call me at home because they were stuck. Teachers are happy to help your children when they're stuck on a problem. So, drop them a line if you get stuck.
Tip 6: Review. Before the homework goes into the backpack abyss, look it over. Check the work with your children. Praise them for their effort. Then dole out the rewards earned. Put that sticker on the sticker chart; add up that extra game time.
Homework shouldn't be a battle. I am not saying that all battles will be alleviated. But instead of fighting battles, you may have to fight a skirmish now and then. If you find yourself swallowed into the homework nightmare, I challenge you to try these tips. All it takes is consistency, routine, and time. I can safely say that with these tips, gone is the two headed monster and my mild manner child is back. She still isn't the sugary sweet picture of happy obedience, but at least I get a hug at the end of homework time.