My heart is aching and yet in nothing I can't even find comfort.

I am one of the most caring people you will ever meet. I love making others happy and more than anything I love being there for ANYBODY when they need me. What happened to you? You are not the same person at all. You changed so abruptly from one minute to the next and my heart still feels the same. It feels SO terrible when you feel that someone you thought loved you and you meant the world to them, can say such hurtful and (un)sounding words from the lips that once meet with mine. My pillow lips. I never expected to be treated like this. And ecspecially not from you. I was always there for you when you needed me and never let you down. You were my everything and now I'm the one left with nothing. I don't even completly understand why you even say some of the things you do, but I have an idea and I'd love for that to be the reason than any other. I never thought that I wasnt' enough for you. I was just doing some of the things that I knew best. Your birthday's coming up and I have already ordered your presents that I know you will like, but what am I to do with them now. I can't keep them for they only remind me of you. In so many more ways than just what they are but what they REALLY are and represent. I feel so empty and this is no pity party like you say. This is my feelings and me caring. And I still care alot about you. I already miss everything and that's not even possible at this point. I MISS EVERYTHING! You say you still love me...You say that I am the most important girl in the enitre world to you...This breaks my heart. You are very special to me in so many ways and I'm sorry if I haven't shown you enough, but it's true and I know that. I know that without a doubt. I can't stand these words repeating in my head about what you said tonight. I feel so worthless to you. I don't mean a thing. You don't care that you hurt me. Your intentions I feel were to do so and that gives me a limitless amount of pain cause I thought differently. If you knew how much I cared about you..How much you are on my mind...How many times I smile everyday because of these thoughts...The feelings I get in my stomach when I do...The way I feel when I kiss you and that's why I love kissing you soo much...How you can make me laugh whenever you please...How no matter what I can't stop loving you...The feeling I get when I know I can hug and kiss you some more...How you're the only one that knows about Lefty and Poncho...THe way I felt the first time we kissed...And when I couldn't stop kissing you while watching the movie "Mr. Deeds"...and the first time you ever held my hand...And the way my heart feels right now because you're gone.

Learn more about this author, Vassie Plun.
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