Obnoxiously Picky or Simply Discriminating: Dating with Saninty

OK now, let's be real. If you want a relationship, you need a set of aesthetics or values that you absolutely want and/or absolutely don't want. Then you need to find someone that matches up to those valuations. Of course they need to find you acceptable too, but that's a whole other article in itself.

The problem at this point is that for most people, you aren't going to find that person with the absolute right set of requirements. And so you just need to compromise. Some. Just compromise some. At least once in a while and reasonably so.

But how does one define compromise? I would suggest you not go about defining it as one of my ex-wives did. In her view, first the other person was to compromise halfway. I was always amenable to this as it only seems fair that both compromise halfway. Then it was her turn and she would compromise (maybe) halfway too, but she gauged things a bit differently than I. She would compromise half of the way between the distance from wherever she was originating in her view from, to where I had compromised to (which you may note, is the actual half way point).

Which means that in this style of compromise, it requires one to compromise in the very least, a full half of the situation, while the other would only have to compromise a quarter's worth. The odd thing about this, was that she really believed that she was compromising halfway. Now don't get me wrong, this is obviously a great style that is quite good for one of the party's involved, but it's not really so great for a long term relationship.

I look at it this way, I have my basics in what I want from someone. No, that's not quite right, I have a basic design in what I "need" from someone. The rest is all negotiable. I do want someone who is in good shape. I'd prefer someone whom I find attractive and has some inherent degree of caring about what she looks like. Someone that is, who will at least make an attempt at it. But looks aren't the whole thing. Not by a long shot.

Preferably, she should also have a brain, as I find that a very positive trait in a woman. However it is also important that she have it stocked with some actually interesting stuff. Some street smarts are always a good thing, as is a strong personality. But not so "smart" or so strong to the point of it being "difficult" (read that, annoying) to get along with. A "wiseguy" can be funny, but a constant "smartass" is just a

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