by Ascen Arriazu

Created on: May 11, 2008

Now that I am a mother myself, I can understand many of the things I went through as a child.

The time when my mother had to go to hospital and I spent the night with a terrible toothache. Auntie and Granny didn't know what was wrong with me and I only wanted mummy! How many times I thought of it later, of their lack of understanding, their coldness, but now... now I know it was only ignorance.

Childhood is that period of your life when you are not only mute but also considered a rebel, a naughty being, a trouble... when the real truth is that children are just great scientists. Everything dropped makes a different noise, water is more fluid than milk, iron tastes different to plastic, how exciting! I wish I could remember those first experiences instead of the many times I was told off for experimenting.

I have now my own baby here, showing me everything I lived before but from the other side. I am the worrier now and the one who would shout at her had not been there before! I try to keep the patience, observe her and guide her but it is the most difficult job in life.

Childhood should only be about learning, enjoying the novelty of things and being loved. Still there are day after day, cases of abuse and neglect that make us reflect about how dangerous that part of our lives is and how vulnerable we are.

Childhood it is that period in which our brain is like a sponge, absorbing everything, and yet we find it really difficult to remember our first memories. I wonder how many times we have been hurt then and forget, or maybe the pain has been installed forever in our subconsciousness.

No one comes to this world with a book of instructions and yet we should be able to remember our first feelings in order to apply them to our behaviour with our own children. That's impossible of course, so we have the responsibility to learn to live life through their eyes, their mouths, their heart and to provide everything they need to grow up as responsible and happy adults.

I have found an invaluable support in an old teaching method: the Montessory method. Maria Montessory was born and lived in Italy during the last century and she dedicated her life to observe children and their behaviors.

The method consists (summarizing it immensely) in observing the children reaction and reacting to them appropriately. The adult is the helper to provide the means for the child to develop with the minimum intervention. It promotes the independence of the early brain, the innate capacity for learning a baby brings with them.

Mrs Montessory believed that the little human beings need little equipment adapted to their tiny hands and body, and provided it as close to real stuff as possible.

This is the method I'm using with my own baby and what works to me, but it can be any other, any way of helping the little one to grow as caring and wonderful adults. What a difficult and yet great objective!

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