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40 Humorous yet essential tips of things to avoid during prom:

1. Announcing to your date you're pregnant.
2. Ordering anything at dinner with onions or garlic.
3. Dancing the Macarena, or impersonating Michael Jackson.
4. Dressing in anything that a boob could pop out of.
5. Dyeing your hair any color that's not natural beforehand (i.e. pink, orange, blue).
6. Showing up with more than one date because you simply couldn't decide.

7. Picking a fight with the prom queen or king.
8. Crying in the bathroom because you left your back-up pantyhose at home.
9. Running through other people's pictures being taken.
10. Streaking or stripping.
11. Measuring cleavage with your pals to see who has the deepest.
12. Red flowers with pink dresses.
13. Shacking up at a roadside motel.
14. Calling your limo driver Jeeves when his name is actually Paul.
15. Tipping the photographer for taking a close-up of your date's goods.
16. Requesting any song by Celine Dion.
17. Wearing panties with seams.
18. Getting kicked out of prom for trashing the place.
19. Styling your hair in a beehive, or like Flock of Seagulls.
20. Initiating a milk chugging challenge.
21. Using your cumber bund as a weapon.
22. Asking everyone in school to be your date, both sexes, teachers and administrators included.
23. Arriving sixty minutes early because there's a bingo championship next door that you don't want to miss.
24. Performing any boy band group dances with your friends.
25. Wearing your grandmother's prom dress.
26. Showing up in jeans and a T-shirt.
27. Wearing anything that blinks, makes animal sounds, is furry or fuzzy, or blinds people from the glitter.
28. Cheating on your boy/girlfriend.
29. Eating at a Mexican restaurant.
30. Arriving dateless and then explaining that your date Johnny Depp will be here shortly, he just has to arrive fashionably late of course.
31. Purchasing your prom wear from Wal-Mart, K-mart, or Target.
32. Dancing near anyone that resembles a former SNL star.
33. Locking your keys in the car along with your cell phone while it's still running.
34. Bringing a pet along.
35. Spritzing perfume/cologne every five minutes because you've been drinking or smoking.
36. Farting.
37. Arranging with the DJ to sing karaoke to your favorite SlipKnot tune and insisting to crowd surf through the dancers.
38. Having your parents drop you off and/or pick you up.
39. Running through the dance floor screaming "I'm on fire!"
40. Inviting the rave next door to join you because the more the merrier.

Learn more about this author, D.C. Cushman.
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