by Dean Shutt

Created on: December 18, 2006   Last Updated: April 23, 2007

What Every Boy Knows

You know folks, I have this friend, a female friend who I do things with occasionally when one or the other of us needs a partner of the opposite sex. Now get your minds out of the gutter, I'm talking about dancing or the movies you sick little thing. Until very recently, this friend of mine was in a somewhat stable relationship. I say somewhat stable because the relationship involved a man. One day, this friend of mine and her man ended their relationship, and yours truly was left the unenviable task of picking up the pieces. My friend asks me to decode her former's utterings every time we get together. "What did he really mean by that?" "What do you think he really wants?" And so on, and so on, and so on. After doing this for several weeks, it occurs to me that you ladies out there could use the ol' Skipster's advice and counsel.

I have always felt that it was the male of the species that was over matched in the dating game. The men I know are clueless at best when it comes to women. As far as that goes, most of the men I know are clueless when it comes to everything save drinking beer and televised sports. The women I know, on the other hand, are intelligent, thoughtful, sensitive and amazingly devious creatures. So you can see why I never thought they would need my advice on relationships. By all rights, every man in the world should be walking around in a stupor, throwing money randomly at jewelry stores and florists. And yet, this is rarely the case. For some unknown reason, it is the women who spend inordinate amounts of time trying to please and understand men.

It's time for a News Flash ladies, and I don't think the men in the audience will mind if I let you in on our little secret. We really aren't all that complex. It is you who are the complex ones in this species. You are so complicated in fact, that you have trouble comprehending just how simple we are. Our lives are centered around just a few simple thoughts where women are concerned. Let me list them for you so there won't be any confusion.

1.Will she have sex with me.
2.How long before we have sex.
3.Will SHE have sex with me.
4.What time does the game come on.

Now let me explain these questions for you. Not because they need any explanation, mind you. Right now hundreds of men are nodding thoughtfully (for them) and wondering if I have ESP. No, I will explain them because women need to have an explanation for everything that we do. So let's get right to it shall we?

1. Will she

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