by John Cargile

Created on: May 10, 2008

Recently while visiting a school in our area I watched teachers and students interact with one another. I couldn't help notice those students who appeared to have plenty of self-esteem and those who appeared to have low self-esteem.

Building self-esteem is a slippery slope. Some people are born with it as part of their genetics. Others have to find it somehow during the course of their growth. The earlier a child develops self-esteem, the better, I believe.

Educators, parents, business and government leaders agree that we need to develop individuals with healthy or high self-esteem characterized by tolerance and respect for others.

Unfortunately, efforts to convey the significance and critical nature of self-esteem have been hampered by misconceptions and confusion over what is meant by the term "self-esteem." Some have referred to self-esteem as merely "feeling good" or having positive feelings about oneself.

Others have gone so far as to equate self-esteem with egotism, arrogance, conceit, narcissism, a sense of superiority, a trait leading to violence. Such characteristics cannot be attributed to authentic, healthy self-esteem, because they are actually defensive reactions to the lack of authentic self-esteem, which is sometimes referred to as "pseudo self-esteem."

In other words, we need to help foster the development of people who have healthy or authentic self-esteem because they trust their own being to be life affirming, constructive, responsible and trustworthy.

The bottom line is integrity, the integration of body, mind, and soul (physical, performance and personality) all three must be sending the same message. I am and I like who I am.

Our personality, what we know to be true about us - that we are kind, loving people who want to make a positive difference in our world, must be validated and supported by our physical presentation and our performance in order to live a successful and balanced life.

How we perceive ourselves is some times inbred, but many of us learn it through the society in which we live. When we feel good about ourselves, we feel good about others. Harmonious living is learned behavior. We are responsible for and in control of our self-esteem! The final point is: we get what we give. To continuously get the self-esteem we desire, we must continuously share it with others.

Our growth in self-esteem results in the "inner treasure" - peace of mind. With this peace comes the ability to live peacefully with others. So our self-esteem comes from

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