When did the 80s come back? Where was I? Why wasn't I told? And more importantly, why didn't I get a vote?

I am a child of the 1980s. It was a decade of Reaganomics, unbelievable fashions, Wall Street type business men separating themselves from androgynous, make-up wearing punk rockers. And don't forget the big hair. Never forget the big hair. I look at old year book pictures and cringe. Fashion ranged from scary to scarier. AIDS reigned supreme, but was hushed up by the government. Have I mention the hair?

Now please don't get me wrong. There were plenty of great things about the 80s. Wasn't there something about a wall coming down? Oh! But more importantly, there was the music and... well... the music. New Wave gave men emotions they didn't know they could have. Hair bands gave us something to bang our heads to. The 80s were also the defining decade for Rap which... should've stayed in the 80s. But how can we honor the music of the 80s without faulting it for bringing the appaling fashions to our society?

Which brings us to today. 2008. Three decades later. They started coming out of the subway tunnels like pack rats. The skin tight jeans, the thick mascara and colorful neon make-up, the hair that swoops down past one eye which of course is tailored after The Cure's Robert Smith worn by teens and tweens too young to even know who Robert Smith is.

And isn't that the point of it all, really? The fashions of the 80s, hideous though they may be, came out of somewhere - great acts and personalities, a way to get away from the maudlin hippie clothes of the 1970s. Because if the 80s were about anything, they were about breaking out, individualism, showing the world that we're a 'different' generation; showing authority that "we're not gonna take it anymore"! It was the "me" generation. Our attitudes reflected our strange clothing styles and choices.

So I ask you, dear reader, what do Reebok high tops, fishnet sleeves, holey Jeans and leg warmers have to with what's going on in the world today? Stop making my generation "retro". And for that matter, turn down that music and get off my damn lawn!

Now, I realize all this makes me old. It certainly makes me feel old. But as someone famous once said, fashion repeats itself every 30 years. The way I'm complaining about the gruesome 80s come back is the way my father was probably saying the same thing back when I was kid about the 1950s.

Learn more about this author, Daniel Koenig.
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