by Mattison Brooks

Created on: May 09, 2008   Last Updated: October 31, 2008

In this day and age, people are finding it more and more difficult to stay committed. When the feelings of passion and excitement start to wax and wane, they assume that "its over". This is a blatant misconception.

When we first fall in love with someone, we are filled with euphoric feelings. We are on an emotional high- giddy, optimistic, and head over heels. We gush over that person-we eat, sleep, and breathe that person.We are blinded to our lover's faults and imperfections. Over time, those feelings start to fade-and we are then able to see our companion for who they really are. I like to refer to this as "sticker shock". A lot of people find this too much to deal with, and after nagging and fighting about it for a while,(i.e. you never bring me flowers anymore, you never hold my hand, we don't make love as often as we used to...)the result is often a breakup.

What people don't understand is that those giddy, euphoric feelings don't last forever. Once we have settled into a relationship with someone, we relax and are then comfortable being ourselves. We stop doing all of those things that we did early on to impress our partner. The emotional high is replaced with a deeper love and commitment that is much more substantial.

I believe that a lot of times people become restless and unhappy in long term relationships due to a lack of understanding. They don't stop to think about the big picture.
All they can see is that there needs are not being met, right here and right now. Often they are struggling within themselves, and look to their partner to meet all of their needs. One must come to realize that no one person can satisfy our every need. No one person is perfect in every way. It is just not realistic.

Keeping that spark alive in our relationships is a choice. We can choose to accept our partner for who they are, and focus on the reasons why we fell in love with them in the first place-or we can give up, and seek satisfaction elsewhere. However, the end result will remain the same.

In today's society, it is getting more and more difficult to "make it work." Marriage is almost always considered disposable-and divorce a quick remedy. Most people now are self-driven, seeking out only what feels good at the moment. There is so much more temptation out there now, so much more for committed couples to deal with.

The answer to the age-old question "What do you do when the fire dies?" is really quite simple-you just don't let that happen. The feelings are there, although they may be suppressed. Never forget how much you love the one you're with-even when you don't like them. If it is true love, it is worth saving.

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