by Pamela Deloatch

Created on: May 08, 2008

What to Do When your Tween's Idol Falls

Each generation of tweens has their idol. It used to be Madonna. Then it was Brittney Spears and Paris Hilton, followed by Lindsay Lohan. Vanessa Hudgens, Jamie Lynn Spears and Miley Cyrus. These are young celebrities who have garnered imagination and adoration, inspired bedroom decoration and clothing styles. All innocent hero worship-until the entertainer falls hard off of her pedestal.

When that happens, the young tweens fans are exposed to a darker side of adult life, whether it is reckless behavior, drunk driving or teenage pregnancy.

Why do Tweens Worship Celebrities?

Many tweens and teenagers are star struck by celebrities. Psychologists say that it is an important step in helping youngsters mature. As they transfer their attachment from parents to friends, the celebrity personality provides a type of mentor role. Indeed, a recent study found that most young people who have favorite idols are very normal.

So it's normal that your daughter can discuss every episode of "Zoey 101," but what happens when the 16-year-old actor who plays Zoey announces that in real life, she is pregnant? Or, when even you know the lyrics to Hannah Montana's "Best of Both Worlds," but may not have the words to explain Miley Cyrus' overexposed pictures in Vanity Fair magazine?

Celebrity Bad Behavior

Just like most teenagers and young adults, celebrities are still shaping their identity, but this transition is taking place in the public eye. "Prior to Marilyn Monroe, a star's life was hidden from the public," psychologist Abby Aronowitz, Ph.D. explained to CBS. "But now, instead of a glossy ideal, we see celebrity's ugly messes, including their drug and alcohol abuse, which, for many who admire these people, translates into a very dangerous message."

Because of their celebrity status, they may feel that the normal rules and restrictions don't apply to them- and then are surprised by reactions to their behavior.

Does the Bad Behavior Truly Influence Tweens?

Some experts say no, citing decreased numbers of pregnancies and drug use among young people. Others, however, say that tweens, attracted to the seemingly glamorous and carefree lives of the celebrities, are subtly influenced because they begin to believe that events like teenage pregnancy is the norm.

What Can Parents Do?

Psychologists say that while it's okay to enjoy having a favorite celebrity, it's also important to teach kids critical thinking skills to help them understand why they like that celebrity.

Ask your kids this: Do they like (insert name: Miley, Hillary, etc. here) because she is a good singer? Is (Ashley, Vanessa, etc.) a persuasive actor? Do they have a talent that has warranted their fame, or are they famous just for being famous?

Have them think about qualities they want in their friends and like in themselves. Is it kindness, sense of humor, friendliness? Or is it appearance and popularity?

Keep listening to your kids, and stay current with the newest trends as you teach them to think for themselves, instead of letting the current craze guide them.

Help your kids to stay grounded so they won't raise their idol so high, and it won't have so far to fall.

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