by Vannase Cary

Created on: May 08, 2008

Extraordinary funeral for a diminutive township, she was no one of true significance. Up until now, every person knew and treasured her. She was a mother to all the children she get in touch with. There was no one that did not want to be something like her.

She was dirt poor but was the richest lady in the township. When they laid her to rest there was not an adequate amount of room at the memorial service for the entire visitor. It was the largest memorial service the township, was to see might have been larger than most state memorial service.

There were stories I had been told of my mother's memorial service. You see I was just days old when she was buried. I thought they were just stories until I talked to my sister who was just a year older.

I told her of our Uncle Wade's store that there was a report of cars still leaving the memorial service even after they had gotten to the burial ground were mama was buried 20 miles from the memorial service. She told me she did not dough it because a friend of hers had died at school and they had in the paper that there had not been a memorial service in our town like that one since Mamma's in 1954.

I never liked memorial service after going to my grandmothers and seeing one of my Aunts grab her up out of her coffin. That just cheeped me out too much and then I started having bad dreams and nightmares after that.

My foster home I was in did not help with that part either. By being abused there and I did not know whom to turn to. Grandma was gone and she was the only person I fully trusted. The memorial service of grandma was letting me know I was on my own now.

I swore I would never go to another grave again. After grandpa died and my Aunt did not tell me about it, I was so anger with her. I felt she robed me of saying good-bye to him. I knew him as my grandpa I did not know he was not my real grandpa until I was 18. I was only 12 when he past.

I still think of him as my real grandpa because he is the only grandpa I ever knew. I have been able to forgive her for all that she did and not long ago she past away. Then we found out that she knew that our daddy had past away and did not tell us.

I do not why she felt so detestable toward us. She told her son that the motive she would not inform us is that we had an adequate amount hurt and pain in our life. Well he was our father it supposed to have been for us to lay him to rest.

I go to the graves now to mend my wounds. I visit with my mom and my grandparents on both sides. My Uncles and my Aunts are all closes so that I can see them all. I had a chance to see some of my cousins I had not seen in 40 years.

We lost our oldest sisters as well around the same time as my Aunts passing her husband said she was a bitter woman when she died. Which is sad, I just pray that I do not become bitter in time with all the hate that has been around me. I want to be loving as my mother was with joy and happiness when I go. If I have learned anything from grandma that is life is to short to be bitter about any of the hurt. It is better to forgive and be happy smile it is easier than frowning all the time.

Grandma's favorite line was, "Smile it only takes 6 muscles to smile and 106 frown." So, give it a try and see if your day does not seem a little brighter.

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