by Jae Baeli

Created on: May 07, 2008   Last Updated: January 19, 2009

You didn't have to attend the Miss Manners School of Etiquette to have gleaned some common sense rules about how to behave while dating. Social skills are of the utmost importance if you wish to be perceived as a person of class. You don't have to know which fork to use for the salad, but you'd better know not to pick your nose with it.

I have pointed out that I'm not generally attracted to women of the butch variety. Most of my experience with butch women has been in the Southern regions of the country, so I'm not clear about whether or not this is true for them nationwide. I was in a relationship with one, though, and have been with others who were not exactly feminine. That's how I know what I like and don't like.

My main complaint about women like this is their demeanor. It seems very few of them have any idea what good manners are. These are the ones who think it's perfectly acceptable to wear a greasy ball cap and dip Skoal, drink too much, talk to loud, forget to buy me a drink when they're getting one for themselves, belch the alphabet, or god forfend, pass gas. Oh, and getting so drunk that standing is a challenge is not impressive either. Not only is this disturbingly reminiscent of some uncouth men, but it is simply inappropriate behavior in any social setting.

And just for the record, first kisses should never be had in a bathroom stall, either. What does it say about a woman's opinion of you, when she will press her lips to yours the first time amid toilet paper, cigarette butts and god knows what kind of smell? Aesthetics aside, if a first kiss isn't special enough to treat with respect, how do you think this woman will treat you in other areas?

Aside from those extreme examples, it's not good manners to snort and hack and spit either. Nor is it an indication of good class and breeding to mention how much you like "to eat p*y."

After the First Date:
Few people have to go on a second date to know if they have chemistry. Generally you're going to know right away if your response to a woman is platonic or romantic. If it's platonic, then you have decisions to make about how to tell her. You can tell her at the end of the date, or contact her later via email.

The direct approach is best, but often very difficult to make yourself do. At the end of the date, you can say, "I've had a great time, and I'm sure you are aware that we're not a good match and we both need to be free to find someone that is. So I think we'd better skip the second date. Don't you agree?"

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