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Park.
Frying slightly in the sun we eventually decide discretion is the better part of valour, and returning to the Swan Bells, we grab a bright red, London bus lookalike tour coach.
In fact the bus has come from anywhere but London and used to be used on the Melbourne to Perth bus route. It took it a grand total of three days to cross the desert at constant speeds of 60mph.
Our first destination is Burswood, and its famous entertainment centre which includes an indoor stadium with an inflatable roof and a casino - built in 1988 to bring an end to the Italian owned and operated illegal gambling dens of the area.
Burswood is one of those places which could only exist because of the laid back Aussie attitude. That's because Burswood is not even its proper name. It was originally named 'Burrswood' after its English founders home town of Burrs. But a spelling error by the Australian authorities who put the first signs up saw it re-christened with just one 'r' - and nobody could ever be bothered to change it.
The rest of the trip took in a brief tour of Kings Park, which we resolved to see more of the next day.
Sunday:
Sunday morning and we were up bright and early - well 11am's not bad when your on holiday - to take on Kings Park.
Taking the wise precaution of applying loads of sun lotion (we had forgotten the previous day and were now looking suspiciously like the prize crabs Perth's fisherman pull out of the river) we made our way to the park.
Kings Park is the world's largest inner city park, beating off rivals like Stanley Park, Hyde Park and even New York's Central Park.
It was full of young, tanned and athletic looking Australian youth who have clearly enjoyed the benefit of growing up in a city where its not dark at 6pm.
The Park includes a fantastic botantic garden, spanned by a thin looking, but actually 100 per cent sturdy bridge, which gives spectacular views of the harbour and city.
It contains the two strand design of the DNA tower, which boasts 101 steps and more picturesque views.
We spent the whole day in the park, getting more lobster like by the second but giving our lazy English thighs the work out they had been crying out for for years.
Then it was off to traditional Aussie Pub, The Bobby Dazzler for a well earned VB (Victorian Bitter for those not in the know) and a good, old Ozzie steak...
Monday:
RAIN.
Western Australia hasn't had any for five years. It's in the middle of a farmer's nightmare sized draught that has left the land crying out for water.
Over
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