Once Hell is full, the dead will walk the Earth. Same thing with call centers. I hate working in a call center because it's where the disenfranchised masses must go once the public service industry is full.

Bartending, waitressing and cooking are the staples of any local economy. Then come the factory jobs. Not the good, well paying ones, but the ones where you just get slightly better than minimum wage. Now that the black market Viagra market is saturated, there really isn't much else to turn to.

Enter the Soul Sucker. It houses more than a thousand employees and makes more than twice as much as what they're paid; minimum. Like in Pygmalion a person is trained in elocution and the bare minimum skills it requires to pass for an actual corporate stooge. Why pay in house for someone to do the job someone else can do for less?

Training is conducted in a slow, painstaking pace which numbs the mind and what's left of the soul. Like a vampire it sucks the will to live out without the benefits of becoming Brad Pitt or immortal. Think of the military for the moment then compare it to kindergarten. A lesson is taken and broken up into a hundred pre-chewed, tasteless pieces. Then it is regurgitated into simplistic ideas that a child will grasp. Repeat for two weeks. I took up smoking and copious amounts of caffeine in which I was still caught falling asleep in class.

Obviously the training is ineffective as many of the questions asked on a test have no bearing in reality let alone the classroom. "How would you give 110%?" Trick question, I wouldn't be trying in the first place. Once you hit the floor it's comparable to riding on a bike in which you hit a wall at high velocity.

Pain, suffering, these are things which are a dull comparison to working on the floor. They are a welcomed change to what can be entitled misery. If it's not the constant calls from the idiots on the phone, it's the scum of the earth which are called co-workers. Scott Adams; creator of Dilbert; said it best when it should have been hyphenated as Cow-Orker; best said in a Cockney accent. "I ain't working wit im. He's a bloody cow orker!"

The people that call in should not have the products or services that cause them the difficulties that they do. A seventy year old grandfather has no business learning how to connect a laptop to his printer via wireless signal so he can print in real time from his blue tooth digital camera; while at a garden party; because

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