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The romantic young singles of today are consumed with an overwhelming desire to find their one and only "soul mate." Some of them actually believe that, out of more than six billion people on the planet, there is only one special person who will be a perfect match for them.

This concept is illogical. It is the stuff of fairy tales, wishful thinking left over from childhood when everyone believed that a handsome prince, or beautiful princess would come along, fall head over heels in love with them, propose, and after an extravagant marriage feast in the palace, they'd live happily ever after.

Unfortunately, things don't happen that way in real life. The truth is that there are many compatible matches for most people, and most of whom they'll never even have a chance to meet. Each of us has many possible partners scattered across the face of the earth.

As many potential mates as there are for each person, no one single individual is going to be perfect for another in every way. You can maximize the chances for success in a relationship by choosing a mate of similar background, ethnicity, religion, and age, but there will always be areas where compromise is necessary. No two human beings will agree on everything, all the time.

Statistics show that roughly half of all marriages end in divorce. Undoubtedly most of these couples initially believed they had indeed found their soul mates. They walked down the aisle with smiles on their faces and hope in their hearts for long and happy lives together. What devastating heartbreak ensued later when half of the supposed soul mates proved to have feet of clay!

Fortunately, most of those who suffer through marriage breakdown are able to pick up the pieces of their shattered lives and move on to discover the truth: there can be more than one soul mate for each person.

We all grow and change throughout our lives. Remember when you were a child and had a best friend from whom you were inseparable? You played, walked to school, had sleep-overs, did homework together. When you weren't at each other's houses, you were talking on the phone. Had you known the term then, you would probably have insisted that your best friend was your soul mate. And he or she was, at that time.

You grew up. You and your best friend eventually went your separate ways. You began dating and looking, either consciously or unconsciously, for a new soul mate. When you thought you had found one, you entered into a new relationship, and perhaps a marriage. But personalities are not static; people continue to grow and change. Sometimes partners grow in different directions. The one whom you believed would always be your soul mate might outgrow you or vice versa.

If and when that happens, it's important to remember that the myth of one soul mate for each person is just that: a myth. Try to find a compatible person, one who is first and foremost a good friend and then work to build a lasting relationship. Don't fool yourself. It won't be easy. It will require sacrifice, adjustment and compromise. If you persist and give it your best effort, you may get a pleasant surprise. You may find yourself with a true soul mate after all.

Learn more about this author, Carolyn Tytler.
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