I will never understand how it happened. One day I was living a weird and unpredictable existence dealing with an abusive ex husband, and the next I was living as the submissive of my Sir. My lifestyle took a very unexpected and pleasant turn that I am please to have taken.

Being a mom, I didn't think I could make such a turn around and do so with a child and do it safely. For the first time in twenty years, I took responsibility for my own life and did something for myself and my daughter. I had to make all the choices for us and trust that I was doing the right thing which meant I had to trust myself. Taking such a drastic lifestyle change all on your own requires that you believe in yourself and stand strong in the face of adversity from both family and friends.

It can be done! Years of abuse can affect your decision making abilities and often make you feel like you are stuck where you are. Changing a lifestyle that you have become used to, no matter how horrible, is very hard to do but it can be done. Nothing is absolute and changes can always be made for the better. It certainly takes strength and fortitude that you may not even be aware that you have inside. What is probably most difficult is taking that deep down look at yourself and being honest about what you see and what you want from the life you are living. I had to ask myself if I genuinely wanted to live a life of submission after all that I had been through and not only that, but did I want to do so in an interracial relationship.

Lifestyle changes are sometimes very hard to implement. The first few steps are the hardest but once you get far enough to see your goal in the distance it gets easier to go forward. You have to let old beliefs and ingrained ideas fall away and look at things with an open mind. If you keep your focus, your eye on the prize so to speak, it is possible to change the life that you lead. It means that while others may judge you, ultimately who you are and who you want to become is all in your hands and you have to believe that you know best. Not all lifestyle choices are going to be acceptable to those in your everyday life but I believe you have to do what makes you feel good on the inside.

My change is lifestyle was not an overnight decision and I was a little frightened by the whole thing but I still did the research and took the steps needed. Ultimately those that love me for who I am had no problem accepting what I needed to do for my own happiness and that of my child.

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