by Dreamweaving

Created on: December 16, 2006   Last Updated: May 23, 2008

The Gambler and other addictions

Additions, especially to gambling, bring to mind the song "The Gambler" sung by Kenny Rogers, followed by the movie, followed by the current popularity of card playing, such as Texas Hold'em and other card games made popular by television. In the song, the old "Gambler" based his life philosophy on habits engendered by earning an income exclusively from playing card games. He led a lonely life, no family, few friends, and died alone with nothing.

Habits that become addictions seem to take over control of the life of the addict. We can all, to some extent, understand addiction, since I think most people, in one form of another, have addictions, or have been affected by the addictions of friends or family. If it's not gambling, it's food, coffee, career, spending money, alcohol, drugs, etc., and the list continues endlessly. Different addictions have different holds on different people. Some people seem to have more self-control with little attraction to addictions, while others seem to give up control of their lives to these addictions.
Why we have addictions.
Freud said it was pleasure seeking; that we all, from children to adults, want stimulation. Some people do not like a life that is the same old, same old every day. We establis daily routines, but crave variety within our routines. For example, when we consider role of routine and how much we depend upon certain "givens" in our lives, as contrasted with the Harry Potter movies and books. Harry and his friends live in a world where the stairs keep changing, sidewalks move, etc. I like the fact that the view outside my door is the same every day, with the variety of changing seasons. My sidewalks lead to the same places, etc. We depend on these things being the same. While people enjoy security, we also want change. We are not content with the 9 to 5 grind, we have to go to movies, go out for a drink, see friends, go to different places for meals, etc. We need stimulation for different reasons. Some have more of a need for stimulation, some of us even need very intense stimulation. Some need light variety, others crave that rush factor.
Problems occur when that rush factor that we need drives us to levels of behavior distructive to ourselves and others. The gambler needs the thrill of winning or losing big, but the price he/she sometimes pays is loss of possessions, property, and lack of basic daily needs, such as food for him/herself and family. Family members may end up paying the price of shame and humiliation when an addict to gambling, spending money, or needing drugs looses control.
The same is true for the alcoholic, the sex addict, and other addictions. The difference is in degree. Some gamblers set aside a certain amount of money they can afford to lose, get their thrills, know their limits, and quit when they lose or win a certain amount. Some sex addicts get their thrills and stay safe, using condoms, staying with partners that stick to the limits, and get their thrills. There is a line between reasonable and risky that the 'safe' addict does not cross; others push the limits and move into the "danger zone," risking anything for more intensity, crossing the line.
Successful adults learn self-control and to stay within limits. They balance variety with order. Other adults cross the lines of safety, telling themselves two drinks will not become three, and then losing count.
Let's all get our rushes of stimulation safely and know our limits so that we stick around this life to enjoy more safe rushes!

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