by Melisa Burns Smith

Created on: May 06, 2008

There are some people who agree that being with one relationship partner for along period of time can and will become boring. Their reasoning being that familiarity with one partner becomes routine therefore allowing monotony to settle into their lives and the excitement of new discovery out. Although I disagree with the idea of signing a "short term lease" when starting a new relationship, I can empathize with the feelings of "Oh is it over already? But I just got here"

However, those feelings of the spark is gone forever are feelings we feel in every area of our lives. Take for instance our jobs, there are always emotional ups and downs, things will be happy and positive for a time and then POOF! We hate what we are doing , it's not stimulating enough for us any longer. So, after all of the time and energy we have put into our lifes work we quit and go find another job until it becomes to routine for our comfort. OH, and lets not forget about parenting. I feel it is safe to say that taking care of our children and all of the responsibilities that come with them can slow us down a bit and since it is essential for their well being to have a life routine, are we going to go have more, but, different children when living with their becomes much to monotonous for us to bare

Oh and I know somebody is probably thinking that these are extreme comparisons but,I assure you they are not! Perhaps if we saw our "life partner" relationship just as binding as we see the other significant relationships in our lives we would not whine at the first thought of our needs not being met and persevere for the down period that all lifes events have.

Another point I would like to make is that having the same partner around for along time, at least my inner vision or sight would determine, is that if somebody is with us day and night experiencing every mood that over takes us, shares our sorrow as well as our joy, accepts us unconditionally, are we willing to dismiss this positive life entity because we are bored? Perhaps if we would become accountable to the fact that to keep our lives exciting we must make an effort to seek out new activities and create more challenging goals, and acknowledge that the only person who can make our lives happy or miserable is US!

Now on the subject of extra marital affairs as a remedy to treat the side effects of a boring and monotonous life, well I do not think that creating a situation where stress will be the dominant emotion could be called exciting. Then there is the pain that somebody is going to feel because affairs are almost always found out, but even if not revealed somebody is going to be alone. I think math division could be applied here to sum up why an affair is a no win situation. If you divide yourself between two people the problem will end with a remainder, because when you have three participants and it only takes two to make a pair one will remain alone. Also as a final thought one of my fellow writers compared the similarities of the words monotonous and monogamy I to have a comparison the word triangle as in love triangle is very similar to the word triage as in emergency room.

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