by Lindy Abrahams

Created on: May 06, 2008

I forgive you and I'm sorry are the words you say when there are no words left to say to your ex. To be able to let go of the anger, the hate and the guilt. Forgiveness is the number one thing to do to be able to move on.

Forgiveness will give you the space to move forward. You don't forgive so that your ex can get away with what happened within the relationship. When you have a deeper understanding you will know that forgiveness is absolutely necessary for your own peace of mind. We forgive so we can stop carrying the burden of resentment.

Resentment is heavy and with it it brings destruction through anger. If it isn't dealt with it can also bring depression. When you value yourself you realize that you deserve so much more, that you deserve to be happy. After you have forgiven you can continue your journey of life with a light heart that will be open to new love. You won't carry past baggage into the next relationship. When my anger had finally subsided against my ex I could finally forgive him for the hurt. This allowed me to stop branding other men, it opened my eyes to the possibility that each and every human being is unique and I should not judge one experience as a whole.

I am sorry is another thing to say to your ex when there are no words left. I took time to sit down and to apologize for the part I played in the breakdown of the relationship. No one is without fault in the breakdown of the relationship. A relationship is like a dance, if one party is stepping out of rhythm then the other will follow suite or will take action to correct the steps. You get together and become a partnership and partners work together and not against each other. At one point I didn't want to acknowledge my contribution to the breakdown of the marriage. I blamed my ex but by doing this I blinded myself to the faults I had. If it wasn't for the help of counseling I would have carried the same unconscious faults into the next relationship.

When I apologized to him I saw something lift from his eyes. It was like a burden had been lifted. We are like old friends now and sometimes people think we will get back together but we both know that we don't feel that way about each other anymore. It's not a perfect relationship either but it works well enough for our daughter.

After all has been said and done, nothing else needs to be said except for I forgive you and I am sorry. Then move on free from the burden of hate and of guilt.

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