by Rachel Faye

Created on: May 06, 2008

Curing shyness and other social fears

Are you shy? Do you have other social fears? Do you want to change? If you answer yes' to all 3 questions then you are ready to take steps to see a new' you. If you answer no' for the last question, then you are not ready for change.

Here are some suggestions for a change in behavior to see a more extrovert you. FEARS

F for find out

Identify the root of your problem. Is it in a social environment, for example, a party? Or even at work, with other colleagues? Do you feel most comfortable hiding behind your computer? Once you have identified the situation where you are most uncomfortable, do another list when you are most comfortable. Be honest, the more truthful you are about it, the more able you can control your shyness.

E for experiment
Once you know what makes you comfortable, experiment by bringing that element into one situation where you are uncomfortable. For example, if you are comfortable letting your hair hide your face, try putting your hair up at home first, then to the park for a walk, then to your neighbor's place for a chat. Progressively include more places where you go. Take one step at a time. Eventually, to the office!

A for ask
Ask for help, ask for information, ask your family and friends. They have been waiting for you to take a step forward to ask them for help. A new you comes with a new look. Fellow colleagues may walk past you not recognizing you! Don't be upset about it, they just did not expect you to want to make a change. Save your money and spend wisely on a new hair style and new clothes. Get clothes that you are comfortable in but trendy, same goes for the new hair style.

R for rejection
Not everyone is accepted by everyone else. There will be some who will stay away from even the most popular people. Just like there are fans of famous actors and some people just don't see anything special about them. So don't retreat into your shell if you face some negative vibes. It's normal.

S for self-esteem
To see a new you, you have to build your self-esteem. No use having new hair styles and new clothes but low self-esteem. Know who you are, then take steps to improve yourself so that you feel good about yourself. Once you feel good about yourself, you will naturally feel happier. Your inner joy and confidence will radiate outwards that no amount of makeup and new clothes can hide.

You know yourself, reflect deeply and ask yourself, are you ready for change? Are you willing to take steps to help yourself? Even if you don't want to change your looks, strive to build your self-esteem. This will help you feel more comfortable with who you are. Most importantly, you have to love yourself. Once you love yourself, you will take better care of yourself.

Best of luck!

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