by Willie Mann

Created on: May 06, 2008

It seems not so long ago, the day an exceptional woman, my mother died. In truth it's been 19 years and still I so vividly remember the day of her passing. She was a dichotomy in so many ways; she was an atheist, but one of the most moral and family oriented people I have ever encountered. She was a feminist and yet soft spoken and beautifully and femininely attired. She was a successful businesswoman, but always put others first. So much of what this woman was ,defied the logic or understanding of others......even sometimes her 4 children and devoted husband, but still she managed to attain great respect from most. Her death, which still moves me followed suit with her life...........making her beliefs a contradiction to her death.

It was one of those brilliant,clear and crisp December mornings; the day after celebrating my 5 year old son, Trevor's birthday, that I had to say good- bye to my mother. Trevor woke me early, of course, so that he could play with his new birthday prizes and I could start breakfast. I tried calling Mom as I knew she had been feeling sick the night before.......having called at the last minute to say that she was too ill to attend but to tell Trevor that she would speak to him soon. There was no answer which I thought odd considering the fact that we spoke several times each day and leaving her new home, near by, would certainly have warranted a phone call, especially after declining a grandchild's birthday party. I continued attempting to connect, getting apparently more visibly upset by each attempt when Trevor, very solemnly looked at me and said......"Daddy, don't be worried, Dee- Dee is okay. She came into my room last night to tell me how much she loved me and that she was sorry she couldn't have come to my party. She said that she had to go away but that she was fine and happy ......" at which point I started to yell at Trevor to stop it, that he had just had a dream- that he had dreamed of Dee- Dee but that it was not real.He continued as only a 5 year old would and said "but Daddy, Dee- Dee said not to worry and to tell you not to be sad, that she was happy and would be okay". Exasperated and frightened, not so much by Trevor's words but by the lack of response from my attempts to call Mom, I gathered my family into our car and headed for my mother's.

Upon retrospect, the newly built town house seemed eerily vacant and almost abandoned when we arrived. Unlocking the door, I called out my mother's name to no response. The house seemed so lonely and cold and I could almost hear our footsteps on the thick pile carpeting.I hurriedly made my way upstairs to where the loft and bedrooms were with my 2 children and wife trailing behind. The only one of the four of us who seemed in no hurry or not to be agitated at all was Trevor. He quietly muttered a few times not to hurry as" Dee- Dee was not here". As I rounded the bend of the stairs into the front loft.............there lay my mother, her head thrown back as if she were having a secret chuckle with the long elegant dressing gown she often wore wrapped modestly around her, as was most definitely her way. I heard a groan echo through out the room and realized that it was coming from me................I knew instantly my mother was gone. I knelt down next to her and kissed her good-bye. I knew without hesitation that she had gone to Trevor the night before to say good-bye. And though we would miss her dearly, she was happy and though she was an atheist, she came to Trevor in life after death......................... after all...........................That,was my mother..........an extraordinary woman!

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