Giving Christian advice to teens is one of the best choices any adult, or parent, can make when guiding teens in their midst. Godly advice will never go astray. Even when teens don't always listen to such advice, the words remain with them as long as the teen sought the advice and didn't have it forced upon them.
Parent-teen relationships
When parents have close relationships with their teens, there is a greater likelihood that their teens will turn to them when in a crisis. Teens will know that, though their parents are busy with various responsibilities - including other children in the household - their parents will take the time to listen to them, and try to understand their situations or desires. They'll know their parents love them and want what's best for them.
On the other hand, there are other parent-teen relationships where it seems that "never the twain shall meet." They disagree on almost everything to the point there is more discord than bliss in their relationships. In such cases, teens will feel their parents don't care about their thoughts and feelings, and will begin to rebel against most authority figures in their lives.
The blame game
It's not always easy to give Christian advice to teens because they become defensive so easily. They are always pointing blame when life doesn't go the way they hoped. Too many teens blame God for the mess the world is in today. They blame God when a family member becomes sick or dies or when parents lose their jobs. Conversely, they blame themselves when their parents choose to separate or divorce. They believe that if they could have behaved better, their parents would have stayed together.
Gaining respect
Whatever teens are experiencing in life, gaining their respect is half the battle in being able to counsel them. Adults need to take the initiative and take time to understand what's going on in the minds of teens in their midst. To sit in front of teens and berate them for their feelings or emotions will alienate them.
Teens need someone who can listen to them without judging - people who can bite their tongues and remain quiet until teens have said what they needed to say. Adults who listen without interrupting will be shown the same courtesy and respect by teens; teens will listen to what they have to say.
When Christian advice is passed along to teens, teens like to understand why they should follow the advice. If the counselor's response to teens is, "Because I said so," teens won't respect the answer. However, when the counselor takes times to explain the reasoning behind the advice, and possible scenarios which may occur as a result of following the advice offered, teens will respect the counselor because the counselor respected their need to understand.
In addition, when teens go to adults to share their troubles or concerns, they respect when adults can admit to not having all the answers, or when adults must think about responses before providing them. Quite often, the adults who don't know what to suggest or advise will point teens in the direction of someone who does. One way or another, teens know these adults will help them.
Adults also gain respect of teens by praising them when they do well. It makes them feel appreciated and they learn to feel better about themselves. In turn, teens learn to respect themselves and, when they do hear a negative comment about themselves, they can use it to make improvements in their lives instead of thinking of it as another reason to rebel.
Lead by example
When Christian adults pass along advice, it should be words they live by as well. When adults get upset with others and begin yelling, they are not providing a good example for teens to follow. Furthermore, when Christian adults advise teens to abstain from alcohol but are seen in drunken states themselves, they become hypocrites, and lose any respect teens had for them.
Demonstrate love
When passing along advice to teens, it's important to demonstrate a loving attitude. It's imperative for adults to explain that they hate the actions teens perform but the hatred is not directed toward teens themselves. Teens have much God-given potential and they should be encouraged to pursue their dreams in hopes of achieving their goals.
Christian advice from ungodly sources
There are many teens with parents who have never spent a night in jail. Their parents never smoked a cigarette, never got drunk, never stayed out partying the night away, and so on. When teens struggle with issues arising from the temptation to join gangs, drink alcohol, start smoking, or to ingest illegal substances, they may not fully appreciate the advice given from their parents. Though their parents have numerous blessings in life, teens may feel their parents' advice doesn't hold much weight because they don't know, first hand, what it's like to have had such experiences.
At this point, it's good to remember that godly advice doesn't always come from Christian sources. That's right! Sometimes the world's most hardened criminals will be the first ones to advise teens not to follow in their footsteps - to follow a moral path in life which won't involve them in a life of crime.
The drug addict will say, "I walked away from God when I was your age and now look at me. My life is ruined. Stay focused on God, man. Don't turn out like me."
The alcoholic will stagger around with a bottle in one hand and slur words which sound very much like, "Go to church, young man. You go to church. Stay away from the booze. It's no good."
A gang member will look around as if expecting trouble and say, "If you get in, man, you can't get out. I've seen people killed, man, and they'll kill me if I try to leave. I wish I could be like you cause then God could turn my life around, but I'm stuck here, man. You stay off the streets and be safe. Get a good night's sleep, cause I can't. I've seen too much, man. I have to keep my eyes open."
These adults' testimonies, however miserable their lives may be, may be the tools God will use to keep teens off the streets. God can use any bad circumstance and bring good from it. Knowing in advance how some teens feel with their parents' lack of experience in worldly activities, He takes advantage of the situation and brings teens into contact with the words from others who chose paths they, now, wish they avoided.
A word of caution
Adults who have gained the respect of teens must be careful in passing along advice to teens when the adults, themselves, are hurting. In such situations, it's easy to misguide teens by telling them to hurt the person who hurt them. It's easy for angry adults to advise teens to hate others because of the terrible things they've done. However, this type of advice sows bitter seeds which will have a negative impact on the lives of teens advised in such a manner. Thus, when adults are feeling upset or hurt, unless they can totally place their intense feelings aside, they should wait a while and cool down before passing along any suggestions to impressionable youth.