by Stephen Atkinson

Created on: May 06, 2008

Loneliness: Curse or Blessing?

This is written from the perspective of one who copes with loneliness on a daily basis. As a companion, she is not at odds with my goals, nor my sense of direction. She is constant, almost a visible presence, and yet, there is no one beside me at all, this I know with certainty. My companion and I travel throughout the day, meeting people of all kinds, and types. Generally, these are pleasant experiences. They are indicative of little more than the ease with which I conduct myself, and my business dealings, throughout the long course of each new day.

This is not to say that there aren't times when even my companion may not be of assistance. Rather, it is to say that moments arise, provoked by what only God knows for sure, when a stifling, oppressive, silence is difficult to endure. During these moments, I find myself in a reflective mood. Such reflection can be powerfully cathartic. They may also be powerfully erosive of the need; the desire to move forward. It is amazing how sounds are heard more clearly, and with great force, during these moments. The inner voices are also not muted, but very pronounced in their assertions, and their influence on my mind. They can evince a complete change in direction. They can also be intuitive, and stubborn in their hold.

These sounds I refer to, are always welcome. and still, they may be callous in their disregard for what I believe to be a correct position to hold, or a particular direction to follow. Nonetheless, they, being instructive, do not allow for failure at all. For example, if I hear a sparrow singing outside my window when alone in thought, the song of the sparrow is more beautiful in the hearing. Each note is powerful in it's appeal to the senses. The clarity of everything, it seems, is amplified exquisitely, and may not be argued against at the moment.

Moving beyond the moment itself, comes of it's own accord, and the transference is made easily. Shifting one's thoughts to other things may be an exercise in futility, or it may be as simple as moving from one place to another. In any event, something does happen, though I know not why, or how it happens. When the thought loses it's grip, the loneliness returns, so too, does the ability to hear the sounds themselves. All is quiet once more.

As bad as it may seem, loneliness is more a state of mind than anything else. A person may choose to be alone, or he may not. This is an important distinction, because the latter is unable to be

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