by S. Ann Holman

Created on: May 06, 2008

What is individualism?

After high school, I thought I had found the answer. I thought I knew who I was. I no longer had to worry about clicks and fitting in. I could be myself whatever that meant. I thought I understood exactly what individualism meant. It meant giving up friends.

My senior year of high school was really not that bad. I participated in many social events. I was in a few plays, was editor on the yearbook staff, and was taking college English and math. I was doing and accomplishing a lot.

But, I felt ignored by my friends and not accepted by them. This bothered me. I didn't want to have to worry about what others thought. I really just wanted to be me. But I wasn't sure who that was.

So I tried to find myself. Just after school ended I ceased all contact with my high school friends and became what some might call a loner. I didn't speak to any of my friends for three months. (I think I was a bit afraid of following in their tracks and not my own.)

I thought this new arrangement on my social life was good. I had work and family. That was good enough, right? I was being and individual. I was my own person. I didn't have to worry what others thought of me. I didn't have to worry about what others didn't think of me. I could be me without worries.

Now, a few years later, I realize both the fallacy and verity of this idea. Although I had found a way to be my own person without the influence of others, it was the relationship with others that I needed.

After three months of not talking to anyone from high school, a friend called me up and forced me to come out of this fortress I had built around myself. She showed me she cared. She showed me that there are other ways to be me. She showed me other things about myself that I did not know.

I could be me and still be happy with friends.

As I consider those three months now, I wonder what kind of individualism I really found. I think I came to understand more about who I was. I learned to look within myself and see what my likes and desires were. But I am not sure that really ever stops.

I believe that individualism is the understanding of one's self. We don't have to be extreme to set ourselves apart from everyone else. As long as we understand who we are, we have achieved individualism.

I am still searching. Every day, just as I did during those three months of seclusion, I learn more about myself and I am becoming happier with who I am. Someday, maybe, I will truly understand myself and achieve this individualism.

Learn more about this author, S. Ann Holman.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.