There are 11 articles on this title. You are reading the article ranked and rated #6 by Helium's members.
I love my boyfriend, really I do. He is gorgeous, funny and caring and as any woman who has moved in with her man knows, it is important to remember the reasons why you love him especially after 6 months of co-cohabiting when he has seemingly morphed into a whole other person. Hence I find myself murmuring the mantra gorgeous-funny-caring' a verbal talisman as I navigate my way through his discarded clothes on the floor or after one of our petty arguments as to whose turn it is to make the tea (invariably it isn't him!). Or after I listen to endless excuses as to why he still hasn't done the washing up/laundry/the dinner, all of them designed to show how selfless he is.didn't he watch that show that I like last night? Didn't he do the washing up oooh at least 5 weeks ago and didn't he cook for our anniversary (glossing over the fact that it was 2 months before) and why am I being so unreasonablecan't I see he's tired?!?! Now he has brought to light just how he has endured it must be obvious that I should be the one to make the tea, do the washing-up or tidying-delete as appropriate. After the most recent battle of wills it dawns on me that what I have naively taken to be the give and take of domestic bliss is in fact about keeping score. A cup of tea is no longer just a cup of tea, it is currency. If he makes one for me then he is eventually owed something. Maybe not today, maybe not even tomorrow but someday..and soon.
At what point in the love-fest does this happen? Well I would have to pinpoint moving-in day, a.k.a the removal of the rose-tinted glasses. However it is a subtle process which you don't fully realise has happened until it rears its ugly head. In my case over an innocent remark about taking out the rubbish, it went something like this:
Do you mind taking it out before you go to work tomorrow?' (me-this said in a friendly, neutral tone with a smile). Oh'(him- puzzled look )but don't you have to get up before me?' said with slight smile. No, don't you remember tomorrow I start work a bit later?' The tone is still friendly but there is a definite EDGE. The smile on my beloved's face is now strained, well in that case doesn't it make sense if you do it seeing as you're in no rush?' Now there is just pure edge, I could, but the garbage man comes just after you leave doesn't he?' A curt nod and a grunt in response and it is game, set and match. It is however a hollow victory as this incident will go down in the scores which
Below are the top articles rated and ranked by Helium members on:
I'm writing this from a mother's point of view. Hold on a minute! It's not what you think. Oh, I'm against moving ... read more
"We're moving in together." These words can be the kiss of death for some couples & the breath of life for others. Sh... read more
I am in support of living with a lover prior to marriage. However, there is an even better alternative to this proce... read more
People say that moving in with your boyfriend before getting married is wrong. They say that there more likely to get... read more
by Nelumbo
Maybe you're tired of paying rent when you're always at your boyfriend's apartment, or maybe you just feel it's final... read more
View All Articles on:
Moving in with your boyfriend: Women's truths
Add your voice
Know something about Moving in with your boyfriend: Women's truths?
We want to hear your view.
Write now!
Already a member? Log in.
Cast your vote!
Click for your side. Must be logged in.
Featured Partner
The Overbrook Foundation has partnered with Helium, giving you the chance to write for a cause. Browse Overbrook...more
hide