by Kary Wright

Created on: May 05, 2008   Last Updated: February 01, 2009

My wife and I were talking the other day about the measure of intelligence to be found in the canine species, and came to the conclusion that in order to prove intelligence, three things must be revealed:

(1) Humor must be pre-meditated. (2) Humor must be displayed. (3) Humor must be enjoyed.

The animal that immediately came to mind for this particular study was my father's prized (not sure why) bull terrier named Spuds. To make one of these particular creatures, one must commence by sculpting a sufficient quantity of granite, using a pig for inspiration, adding a Roman nose and straight tail. Then one must add the cunning of a fox, two measures of mule-stubbornness, one part patience of Job, a sprinkle of Tasmanian Devil and the mischief of three cowboys. Not wasting effort on esthetics, leave the resulting creature pure-white with the exception of a splash of black, if available, haphazardly adorning the left eye and ear.

Now with the main character in order we can proceed. My loving wife and our six year old son are enjoying a peacefully-warm spring day, playing catch in the front yard of my parent's house with Velcro paddles and a fuzzy tennis ball. Spuds, seemingly uninterested in games (Criteria 1, Pre-Meditation), dons his best poker-face and patiently (see previous ingredients) proceeds to stand rock-solid still for sufficient time to blend in with chairs, trees, patio stones etc. Soon there is certainty that all guards are down, and the ball whizzes past said-statue's nose, without a blink, poker-face still firmly in place. Once again ball passes near Roman nose, eliciting no reaction; wife considers checking dog for pulse. A few more pleasurable tosses and inevitably another throw goes awry. This time as the ball nears, Spuds wheels about with the agility of a cat and snatches the ball from the air, running as fast as the short-stout bow-legs will go.

The old rule book is tossed aside as it becomes apparent that a new canine version has been imposed on the players, and surrendering to the circumstances my wife gives chase in her three-sizes-too-large rubber boots. Using the hairs on the tip of his tail for a proximity warning, Spuds allows just enough distance between hand and tail to simultaneously deliver enough hope to prolong the chase, yet enough safety to prolong the chase.

Around cars, house and ponds the pursuit continues, with hand sliding off the tip of the tail repeatedly, and poker face turned to a visible smile with corners of mouth turned

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