by Jayne Bonilla

Created on: May 05, 2008

I am human, therefore I run. Isn't that why it is called the human race? And I am a distinct member, as are we all. If we don't run in this human race, we get left behind. Yet if we run too fast we risk getting burned out before we ever reach the finish line. And it is important not to confuse the human race with the rat race. Because there are many out there who would kill for a piece of cheese and live by the motto "every rat for himself." So I have vowed to set my own pace and run my own race, since life is not a sprint but a marathon.

I actually ran my first marathon in 2001. I received a postcard in the mail inviting me to participate in this 26.2 mile race while raising money and awareness for The Leukemia Lymphoma Society. Running for a cause had huge appeal to me. It was challenging and meaningful and something inside of me was ignited.

Suddenly I was eight years old and sleeping over my best friend Amy's house. Amy and I were attached at the hip. Twins separated at birth kind of best friends. We were inseparable. But suddenly Amy died and we were separated forever. She had Leukemia. At that time, in 1969, only 4% of children with Leukemia survived. And my little world at eight years old fell a part. I was plagued with fear. The fear was like this internal poison that leaked into my everyday thoughts and actions. I was afraid my loved ones would die. I was afraid I would die. And my fear of death made it impossible to enjoy life. It took control of me. Even then I was running from myself. Running from the truth. Afraid to look my fear straight in the eye and admit my human feelings. But hey, I was only eight.

Then something profound happened. Someone profound happened. My mom held me in her arms. My pain had become hers. She told me I had two choices. I could spend my waking days worrying about dying or spend my waking days celebrating the gift of living. She said "we can't control when we reach the finish line of life, but we can control how we choose to spend the time we are in the race." And suddenly I got it. My fear no longer controlled me. I controlled my fear. And I began to live my life again. I was back in the race.

Thirty two years later I ran in the Disney Marathon in memory of my childhood best friend Amy. I wore her name on my running tights which read "Amy Forever." I raised over $3,000 for research and treatment. I ran at my own pace and for my own personal reason. I ran with Amy in my heart and in honor of children and adults who are fighting this disease every day. Today, there is a remarkable survival rate for children diagnosed with Leukemia. And we must never give up chasing a cure.

I'll admit, some days I still run from my fears. I avoid issues that seem overwhelming. I run for cover. I am only human. But many other days I run for the health of it. Three miles tops. I burn off calories so I can eat more at mealtime. I mostly run to keep up with my kids and I run alongside them as they chase their dreams. But the most important lesson of all that I have learned, is to lace up those sneakers every day and show up at the starting line. I try to be the best member of the human race I can be and always celebrate the journey.

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