by Laura Fellows

Created on: May 05, 2008

The challenge of blended families is a huge one. Trust me, I am currently involved in one! There are seven of us kids total. One is seven years older, has a baby, and is fortunate enough not to see the tortures of every other weekend that we experience. The rest of us, are really close in age. May 6th and 7th, when my youngest step brother turns a year older, there are two of us that are the same age, two more that are the same age that are a year younger, and my step brother and my younger sister are the same age. May 8th roles around and my youngest sister turns a year older, cutting off the balance.

It tends to get so crazy around there. They were all brought up one way, us another. It's hard to really get along when you only spend time with each other every other weekend. When we all do find ourselves together, it sometimes becomes awkward. The six of us always seem to be compared to each other. As self-centered as this seems, it is because we were the one's raised with manners, good education, goals for our future, etc. It got so bad that we switched weekends. This drove my dad crazy. He's a work-a-holic and he LOVES his free weekends. With six kids running around, three on a regular basis, I would be the same way!

Like I stated in my first sentence, the challenge of blended families is a huge one. Just like with my dad and step mom, they thought everything was fine and dandy because all of us kids would always get along when we did hang out before they got married. Once you spend so much time with other people, their real colors do begin to shine through and that's when trouble sets in. Therefore, a word of advice, don't expect everyone to ALWAYS mesh well all the time. No family is perfect and definitely not blended families! They can become crazy!

Another word of advice, when you tell your teenager that they cannot stay out later with their friends, don't inform them it's because of what's fair. That won't hit their good side too well. Trust me, it would be more suitable for you to say that it's "because you love them." If you compare them to the kids that receive more of your parenting than they ever have, it will drive them insane. Then, the competitive streak against everyone in the household will arise again.

All in all, jumping into a blended family setting is a HUGE risk. You never really know how well things will turn out unless you try. If the kids do try to do things to break you up, you can't let them win. I mean, if you truly love the person you're with would you rather throw love away or would you rather put up with the kids for a few more years until they move out? You must think about the big picture in times like these. Finally, one MORE word of advice, don't play favorites. It will get you in trouble.

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