by Brandy Fee

Created on: May 05, 2008

Is anyone truly ever ready for children? No matter what one might think, there is no way one is ever prepared for a child, whether that child is born to you or to someone else. However, becoming a stepmother is something no woman new to the game can ever be prepared for. I know I wasn't.

I was 19 when I met Dave. He was in the midst of divorce, with three children. Bo was 17 then and from his first marriage, Maranda was 8 and Mikel was 5, from his most recent marriage. (I'm sure you are wondering of the age difference, and I can tell you that Dave was, at that time, 36. But that is another topic!) I thought I was a strong woman, coming from a long line of strong women. Amazing how three children can suddenly change every thought you have about yourself.

Mikel was the easy one back then. He was young and looking for friends. He was a cuddle-bug, and warmed quickly to my presence. He became my little buddy, the child who made me smile when all else was going downhill.

Bo was old enough to be a friend, and we bonded quickly over video games and movies. While the other two children remained at home in the custody of their mother, he came to live with us. It was an easy thing, no immediate problems.

Maranda on the other hand, was, and still is, a Daddy's girl. Her heart was broken, Mommy and Daddy weren't together, and she made sure that I knew I wasn't going to be around long. She sat between us, snatched his hand from mine, and barged into our room at night. She was hateful. She threw temper tantrums. She was every stepmother's nightmare.

Within a few months I realized how unprepared I was for children, most of all, his children. The relationship with Maranda did not get better, but in fact got worse. I was, in her mind, the wicked witch of the west there to steal her father away from not only her, but her Mommy. She was quick to let me know how much she hated me.

Nothing I did was right. I tried to give her space, she whined that I ignored her. I tried to get her to do things with me, she complained that she didn't like to be with me. Nothing I tried worked, while anyone else could do the exact thing and her face would light up as though it were Christmas morning.

After a year, her father proposed to me. I said yes, knowing that giving in and going away would not benefit anyone. Two weeks later, when he sat his kids down to tell them, Maranda threw a fit. At nine, she was able to make him feel as though he had destroyed her life. He told me he couldn't marry me.

A year

• 1
• 2
• Next Page >>