by Claire Connolly

Created on: December 16, 2006   Last Updated: April 25, 2007

My first pregnancy ended a month early with a beautiful 7lb 1oz son being handed to me to idolize. At 21 years of age, we had planned this baby who was conceived in love almost on the first try. Even though we had planned to get pregnant, looking at the blue cross on the pregnancy test gave me a "oh, crap" feeling. But as my partner lifted me up in joy, any feelings of regret vanished until a week later when panic set in for the first time. I thought to myself, how on earth can I look after a child when I can't even get through the morning sickness bit! I had morning sickness all through the pregnancy and eventually got used to it, especially the day I felt the first flutterings of movement in my belly.

From then on, I talked to my baby, touched my belly constantly and could barely stop myself from spending all of my money on my unborn child. I knew he would be early and I was convinced he was a girl for some reason. So it was no surprise to me when I woke up to use the bathroom a full month before my due date and discovered my waters had broke. I was surprisingly calm as I woke my partner who told me to go back to sleep, I was only imagining things (which he has never lived down).

We eventually got to the hospital, discovered my hospital bag was totally unprepared even though I had repacked it on a weekly basis for the previous 5months! The contractions were a bit shocking at first and the sound of a woman screaming her head off in the next room was extremely daunting but my partner kept me going and a few hours later my son was born. It's hard to describe what that was like, while I was pushing I was in a "zone", totally concentrating on the job at hand and I was actually surprised that he came so quickly. When they told me it was a boy, I had no reaction, it really did not make any difference, I had my baby, that's all I cared about.

Because he was slightly early, he had to spend a few days in the neo-natal unit which was upsetting but once we got home, everything was perfect. He was all that I imagined and more. This tiny little person that came from me and my partner was a miracle and still is. The parenting instincts set in and after receiving some bad advice from various sources about breastfeeding, I decided to ignore most of the advice given to me. After all, a mother knows what is best for her own child. It is a lack of confidence that causes people to run for advice.

I am glad I put my foot down early on with my son's grandparents as they tried to take over a fair bit. Eventually though they realised that we were doing a good job and left us alone. In fact, the day my mother told me that she thought I was doing a better job at the age of 21 than she did at the age of 36 with her 3rd baby will always be remembered by me because my mother is seriously not the type of person to compliment anyone.

The most important thing about first time motherhood is to relax and enjoy it. You only get it once and you should relish every step of the way. So what if you havent washed all of the dishes yet if it means that you spent an extra few precious minutes with your child. The first few months are only the hardest because they are so tiring. Once your child settles down into a proper sleeping routine, it gets a lot easier to handle. As they get older, it is so beautiful watching them learn and grow and they become so much fun in the meantime. Enjoy motherhood as much as you can because it is unbelieveably special.

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