by Rachel Faye

Created on: May 05, 2008

Forgiveness

I just found out that the purple hyacinth is given to others to say, "I'm sorry; please forgive me."

Giving flowers is the simplest step in forgiving another for the hurt you have inflicted on another person. What is more difficult is the actual asking for forgiveness itself. We have to humble ourselves (we are such proud people!) to seek for pardon. The act itself can be just a simple I.m sorry' to a whole litany of why you said those hurtful words. But I find the simple, heartfelt and sincere I'm sorry' the most appropriate.

With children at home, getting them to say I'm sorry' was difficult at first. As they soon got the hang of it, it became easy to say it but without conviction. So I added in with a hug and a kiss' for the victim, this seems to work as they realize that after hurting their sibling, they are not going to get away with it so easily. This made some of them think twice before they say or do hurtful things to the other.

Seeking forgiveness gives us peace of mind. We are social creatures, we feel uneasy when we know that we have done wrong and have not made our peace. Research has also found that having a peace of mind is good for our health.

When we love that person we hurt, seeking forgiveness from the bottom of our heart cleanses the soul and not just empty words uttered for the sake of maintaining peace at the workplace or at home. Reflect deeply why such words were said to hurt others and you will realize that there is a better and gentler way of sending the same message without causing so much pain.

Giving forgiveness is sometimes also not easy. We remember the hurt caused when the party said those painful words or through their actions rejected us.

But when the party who hurt us comes to us to ask for forgiveness, can we forgive him from the bottom of our heart? Can we accept him back? Can we forgive and forget' the hurt caused? We know we should in all righteousness but can we?

So the moral of the story is, if we can't find it in ourselves to forgive the person who hurt us so badly, don't let us also be the person to hurt the other so deeply that the hurt will not be forgiven and forgotten'.

When a child uses hurtful words on his parents, it cuts deeply. The parents try their best to look out for the child and gives him the best. But if the child grows up not realizing the sacrifices his parents made for him, he resents their every action and blames them for everything. If he realizes his mistake, he goes back to ask for forgiveness from his parents. Out of the great love for their son, they forgive him. But the angry words have cut deeply and sometimes may not be easily forgotten.

The power to forgive stems from love. Without love, it is easy to forgive in words only, and still remember the hurt caused. But with love, the forgiveness comes from within and it is complete.

Let love be always first in our minds, on our lips and in our actions. Forgive others. Pass this on and it will come back to you.

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