by Terry Wright

Created on: May 05, 2008

My husband and I married when I was 23. Oh my, what I would like to go back and tell myself. Don't smoke, exercise, start trying to have kids right now and when it doesn't work out, get thee a support group!

We didn't start trying to have children until I was 27. Shortly there after I had my first ectopic pregnancy. Sometimes a fertilized egg gets caught in the fallopian tube; it implants there and begins its rapid growth cycle. This can be quite painful and if not caught quickly can be disastrous. When mine was discovered it had grown too large for my fallopian tube to be repaired. In the surgery to remove my ectopic, they also removed my tube. Luckily each woman is born with two fallopian tubes. Two more ectopics later however; my other tube was ruined as well.

When I was 32 my husband took a job with a computer company that advertised in their benefits package fertility health insurance coverage. We felt this was divine intervention, we wanted to become parents badly and here was a chance right in front of us. Not only was it covered by insurance but there are doctors right here in town that accept it. In June of 2001 we tried our first in vitro-fertilization (IVF). It was unsuccessful. I was hanging on by a thread.

You go your whole life thinking, that when you're ready to start your family, you will stop taking the pill and you'll get pregnant. It's something everyone can do, even people who don't want to can get pregnant, why can't I? Things were not going well so far and despite the insurance coverage the continued losses were taking their toll. After three ectopics and one failed IVF I felt like I had been through every procedure possible. I cried when we drove past BabiesRus. I was furious with anyone who could do what I couldn't, get pregnant. Thank God my husband saw all these signs, (how could you miss them). He found a support group of women suffering from infertility. Without them I never would have been able to face all the years of procedures ahead of me.

Women need other women that are going through similar trials on their journey to become a mother. There is nothing like someone who gets you. You don't want to keep explaining the intimate details of your uterus. Women going through what you're going through know all about the high cost of Follestim or the pain and bruising of the shots in your tummy. With help from my treasured support group I went through a total five IVF's. This is something you cannot do alone!

There were 4 of us women together going through all different stages, symptoms and procedures. Five years later we have 11 children between us. My two girls are almost exactly 3 years apart and are a blessed gift from God! If and when it all seems too much for you too handle, seek out others going through it too. Most of all pray for God to give you strength because you will need it!

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