My God this was a day of beauty and wonder. Achieving the task of getting my two offspring together in one place and relaxing enough to enjoy it has been a long time a coming. My son came home on leave from Iraq and we rented a van and drove a very boring 8 hrs to join his sister. I was filled with such excitement, the long hours in the car couldn't even dampen my mood. I was in awe being surrounded by children created and their kiddies. Words cannot come close to describe how full yet light my heart felt having been give the chance to be with them. It had been too long. I couldn't recall the last time I had felt this happy. My precious family began when my son came into this world 31 yrs ago. Four years later his beautiful sister followed. Although being elated creating a new life, I soon was jolted with a strong fear. As reality sunk in as to being responsible for this tiny person, I accepted that now my future days ,weeks, months, and years to be full of doubts, fears, and wonder. Constantly questioning whether you'll do the right things. Things that help them understand life unafraid. Do I know enough to make them grow strong in spirit as well as mind? Are we smart enough to teach them good morals and fill them with want to achieve them? Have we made it clear the importance giving respect as well as being respected is a necessity for success. That being responsible and productive are important keys that run side by side. Before I can share with you the love I saw today, you must understand how and why it was so intense for me to hear, see and feel. When my son was wee small, tired of the beatings I mustered the courage to walk out one day. Looking into his tiny eyes he looked back with such trust and innocence. I cried, thinking of the pain he may go through because I just tore his family life apart. The pride I had felt before finally getting out, began to fade as an intense amount of fear swept into my soul. Scared of being his only life guard for danger, or the one he depends on to make life right. My God please show me the right way to teach him those things. The Fear, doubt, and wonder would be constant companions to each new day. "Can I give him the strength he will need as an adult." How Can I show him how to love when my heart has shut down so long ago refusing to feel? As a mommy, will I know what to teach him things his father should have? To instill strength

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