Humor: Politics

3 of 58

by Keith Redfern

Created on: May 04, 2008

Dubya and Zimbabwe.

Nicolas Sarkozy and Gordon Brown are visiting George Bush to discuss the situation in Zimbabwe.

NS Bonjour, monsieur le prsident.

Dubya Hi, there, Nick. And who's this?

GB Gordon, Mr. President. Gordon Brown.

Dubya So where's Tony? Couldn't he make it?

GB Tony handed over to me, last year. I'm the Prime Minister now.

Dubya Did he now? Could've told me.

NS So, how's it going, Gordon?

GB Oh, could be better. Always pressure. You know how it is.

NS I do indeed.

GB They say if you add together the ratings for all three of us, you might just make 60.

Dubya Who cares about ratings? We're democracies. We were fairly elected. We lead the free world.

NS Now, Gordon. What did you want to talk to us about?

GB It's Zimbabwe.

Dubya Zimbaba? Where's that? Is it near Eye-rak?

GB No, George. It's in Africa.

Dubya Oh, yes. Africa. I've heard of that. Where's that? Is it near Eye-rak?

NS What exactly is the problem, Gordon? How can we help?

GB Well, you know what has happened. Mugabe has lost the election, but he won't stand down. We have to try to bring pressure on him that doesn't make the economy there any worse or cause ordinary people to suffer.

Dubya Now, let me get this straight. This guy has lost the election, you say?

GB Yes, clearly. But he seems to be rigging things so he can rule anyway.

NS I think that happened once before somewhere.

Dubya That's undemocratic. What is this guy? Some kind of communist?

GB He's more like a dictator.

Dubya Well, let's take him out, then. That's what we do with dictators.

NS George. We can't behave like that. We have to get international support. Some sort of UN mandate, perhaps.

GB Mugabe has a thing about Britain, and all white colonial powers, George. He would react angrily to outside involvement, and make his people suffer.

NS Even more than they are now.

Dubya We can handle that. I'll send Condy over there. She's the right color.

GB But Britain feels a certain amount of responsibility. We would rather take the lead with the support of the EU and the UN.

NS The EU won't be a problem. I can handle Angie and the others.

Dubya This Zimbaba place. Do they have oil?

GB No, George.

Dubya And they're not communist, you say?

NS That's right.

Dubya So, what's our incentive?

GB To help the population. To re-establish true democracy and to get their economy back on an even keel.

NS And to assist with agricultural development; rebuild the housing Mugabe destroyed; develop better relations with their neighbors in Africa.

Dubya Africa. I know where that is. Does