by Mattison Brooks

Created on: May 04, 2008

This article is very difficult for me to write. It is very hard for me to answer "yes"-that some victims of rape are irresponsible. As a previous article stated, I , too, do not condone any type of non consensual sex, abuse, or rape/molestation of children. This argument borders on a very thin line-as well as a very personal one, for me.

I can speak from personal experience when I say that some rapes are a direct result of irresponsible decisions made by the victim. A few years ago, I made the decision to meet someone in a dark, abandoned parking lot at night. The results of this choice were devastating, and altered my life forever. When I think back on it now, I can not believe that I made such a dumb decision.I consider myself a reasonably intelligent person-and my actions that night made absolutely no logical sense.

At that particular time in my life, I was very naive and trusting. To be honest, I had truly been sheltered my whole life. Up until that point, I had never ventured out and really experienced any of the "real world." Due to marrying very young, and becoming a mother very young, I had not experienced dating, being single, any of the normal aspects of early adulthood. I was completely unprepared for what happened-it caught me by surprise, and knocked me for a loop.

I certainly believe that there are cases where there was absolutely nothing that the victim could have done to prevent rape. I just happen to believe that there are also situations where lack of common sense results in crime. There are consequences to the things that we do. No decision that we make is without it's set of drawbacks. When I reflect on my actions, and I do almost everyday, I often think of what I could have done differently. In my struggle to overcome my battle, I have learned to accept responsibility for my actions.

I hope that no one who reads this thinks that victims of rape or abuse got what they deserved. No one deserves to be raped. While I did, perhaps, have a temporary lapse in judgment, I know I did not deserve to be a victim. It just so happens that the proper circumstances fell into place because of my free will. I chose to meet this person. I chose to meet in an abandoned parking lot. I chose. In my particular situation, and I speak from my unique experience only, I was irresponsible.

The best advice I could give anyone right now would be to make mindful decisions. Use your common sense, and think things through. All of the red flags were there, but I was too blind to see them. I should have trusted my instincts, but I didn't. Do not venture out into this world armed with only trust and naivety-use the sense that God gave you. To put it simply- just be responsible. Take it from someone who knows.

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