So you want to be a teacher? Fantastic. In the next few paragraphs I will attempt to outline some history, expectations, suggestions, and little-known facts as you embark into this amazing, lucrative and much-appreciated field!
For thousands of years, teachers have been held in high esteem in nearly every society. Frequently, they can be seen sitting next to kings and emperors in portraits, held equally as important as court doctors, astrologists, and even, in some cases, fishmongers! Throughout medieval England teachers were awarded with dukedoms and lordships nearly every day. Ancient China saw teachers as descendants of the gods themselves, which explains why artists' visions of Chinese teachers nearly always depict them as green and scaly, to emphasize their connection with celestial dragons. Some African folklore tells of teachers who instructed the sun and moon to move through the sky and the birds to swim and the fish to fly. Some translators, however, argue that this is incorrect. Yes, teachers have been universally loved throughout time.
Being a teacher in the 21st century is no easy task. Yes, it is a sure-fire road to fortune and fame, but the road is long and hard! Most teachers can expect to spend up to two years in higher education, spending hundreds of tens of dollars to achieve their goal of that oft-sought "license." Most licenses are printed on gold leaf paper and hermetically sealed. Few non-teachers have ever seen a license in person, so there is an abundance of mythology. Some frequent misconceptions include: the idea that owning a license actually proves one's ability to teach well, that the license is deserved, and that a license is even needed to be an effective teacher. You will most likely find, however, that the state you live in does require you to own one of these licenses before you can teach in a public school. Privates schools are another matter. They'll take just about anybody (which has led to private schools falling badly behind public schools in terms of educational quality).
If you think you still want to become a teacher and brave the gauntlet that is licensure-attainment, you must be willing to make some sacrifices.
First, most states have very strict guidelines regarding a teacher's appearance and personality. Teachers must maintain a height-to-weight ratio, as outlined in the government pamphlet, "Teaching: A Full Body Workout - How to get YOUR body in shape to teach!" It is very important to practice proper weight-training routines, as well. Picking up and carrying students home at the end of the day is no easy task: something first-year teachers usually discover the hard way! Also, depending on your scores on the mandatory psychological evaluation, a full-frontal lobotomy may be ordered. Don't worry, though! You will find that school boards tend to adopt textbooks and standards that make it almost completely unnecessary for teachers to use their brains. Additionally, first-year teachers are provided with CARPS: Contamination And Radiation Poisoning Survival kits. Don't forge that chalk, in its untreated form, is extremely toxic to humans and should be handled with great care at all times.
Secondly, all teachers are required to enter their homeostatic life-support pods at the end of each working day (which, more often than not, will last 20-22 hours). Most schools keep these in the basement, adjacent to the boiler room. If at first you can't find it, just follow the sound made by the eraser-cleaner, and you can't miss! The pods are normally completely furnished with digital cable, a small kitchenette, and Thigh Master (as per the required physical training routine). Of course, the fact that teachers live at the school is still somewhat surprising to some, a view that is most often expressed in students' and parents' looks of shock when they chance upon a teacher in a supermarket. However, the existence of the pods is usually denied after the 1974 Youngstown Massacre, when, after watching "Invasion of the Body Snatchers" a few students over-zealously murdered two school districts' worth of teachers in an attempt to stop the "pod people."
Thirdly, and most importantly, is the children. Most teachers know that children are our future. What they don't realize, at least not until they've been teaching for some time, is that they're also vicious monsters who must be stopped at all costs. Most lesson plans and textbooks are created with this in mind.
So, if you want a career that can make you well-respected, sought-after, and wealthy beyond your wildest dreams, teaching is definitely for you! If you've already made the commitment to teaching, then hold your head high as you walk into your local school district's administration building and proudly proclaim, "I'm a licensed teacher, and I want a job!" They will be more than happy to give you the long list of open positions in their district, and don't be surprised if you also get a date! Join the ranks of the most highly regarded careers in the modern world: lawyers, janitors, and, yes, teachers!