by Theresa Wind

Created on: May 03, 2008

I had a great love at one time, one with a deep love and emotional connection that has haunted me every day for the last 22 years. This is a man who became a big part of me and who has a very special place in my heart. We were together on and off for eight years, in fact we were one another's first loves. Unfortunately my foolish fears tore us apart 22 years ago, and we ended up going our separate ways. I have no doubt in my mind now that this is the man who was born to love me and to be my soul mate.

It is true we have been apart 22 years. Even after all this time apart I can honestly say that there hasn't been a day that has gone by that I haven't thought about him. Sometimes I would spend hours wondering about him. Mostly I wondered where he was and if he was happy. I also spent more time than I probably should have wondering about what life would have been like if things had turned out differently and we had ended up together. This sweet and amazing man is never far from my thoughts. In fact over the fifteen years of my painful and dysfunctional marriage it has been thinking of him that always put a smile on my face, and that helped pull me through the really tough times.

Yes I met someone else and got married in 1993. I married a man that I fell head over heels in love with at first sight. Honestly I had never fully gotten over letting my true love get away. I knew that I had enough love to go around though and I knew that I could love this new man very much. As for me all I wanted was to be loved again. I knew that lightening would never strike twice and that I would never love or be loved the same way I had been, but I thought that we would come close. I believed that this man could love me enough, but I was wrong. I don't know exactly why my marriage has failed but sometimes I do believe that it might have been partly my fault. Thanks to me there was always a third party in our marriage, the ghost of my past love.

Of course there are two people in every marriage and I am not the only one to blame for my marriage being over. Truth is 75% of the responsibility falls on my husband, he is a good dad, but he is just not marriage or husband material. Still I am sure that the ghost of my past love could not have helped our difficult situation. I tried to be careful though I never let my husband know about my unresolved feelings for my ex love, no one knew I kept the secret to myself.

My emotional connection to my past love overwhelmed me, no sooner did we part

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