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In The Closet: A View From The Inside

"In the closet." Those words may mean little or nothing to many individuals. But to a hidden crowd of men and women it is a very real part of their existence. What does it really mean? "In the closet." Short and simple. Really, closets are not that bad, nothing too scary or intimidating about them. However, it is used as a standing metaphor for those who feel forced to conceal their sexual orientation. Today there is more talk about being openly gay, lesbian, or bisexual. However, there is little or no information about the woman who sits at a bachelorette party, feigning to enjoy gaudy talk about men and heterosexual sex; or, the boy who ask a young lady to the prom, when really he desires to be close to a male student. There is an increasing level of dialogue that surrounds men of all races and their being on the "down low," leading heterosexual life styles, while still engaging in same -sex sexual practices. Even the most open conversation about being on the "down-low" is centered mostly on the topic of two males having sex, but hidden or repressed emotions are given little to no attention. Is there an emotional aspect to being in the closet? The perplexed heterosexual might not even care, and the open person who wears their gay sexual orientation on his or her sleeve- without much opposition- may not understand. She is out there, he is out there: The secretary, doctor, student, mother, father and Christian; those who find it relatively impossible to share their hidden feelings. What fuels this feeling of impossibility? And what is it like to be in this hidden state?

There are complex components that may keep a person in the closet. Some of these complex components are more influential than others, but most likely never standing alone as the sole reason someone is in the closet. These components are like a mixed drink of sorts, never a single ingredient, but several liquids blending together to create this perplexing situation. The main factors that contribute to him or her being in the closet can stem from religion, family, society, cultural expectations, gender-role expectations and self-denial.

Religion: When I first told my mother that I was feeling a strong attraction for someone who happened to be a female, she referenced me to the bible. She told me of an account in the Hebrew Scriptures that speak of men who were attracted to males. The bible refers to these men as "dogs." When these "dogs" were revealed, they

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