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Purity Balls. When I first heard of that I honestly thought it was a joke. What parent would subject their teenager to get dressed up, attend some "society" event and then publicly proclaim they have no intention of having sex before marriage? Some, so it seems.

I am all for respecting one's family's religion if that is what the child wants to do. I am all for choosing not to have sex. I am all for self-respect and humility and whatever else wonderful attribute you want to add to this idea.

What I am not for is making a child feel less than something, and forcing them to publicly declare something really embarrasing when their own sexual experience (or lack thereof) should be something that is private to them. Does daddy really need to know how far his sixteen year old daughter has gone sexually? Does mommy? Where does a parental responsibility end and an individual's rights begin?

I feel saddened when I hear of such things. We live in a time of extremes, where you're either for something or against something, where what you do is either right or wrong, there is no shade of grey allowed. That is truly disheartening to me because when you take the time to look at it, life is nothing but a shade of grey. The extremes are just that, the extreme end of what is the normal end. I'm sorry to say that as admirable the idea of saving yourself for marriage is, do you need to publicly declare it in an expensive ball held for the purpose of the parents?

Teens, may I ask you, if your parents pretty much insist you attend or else, are you going to tell them that you really have no intention of saving yourself or that you've already had sex? Parents, honestly, is your child really that innocent? Does religion or extreme conservatism really mean that much to your children? Or are they paying lipservice just to please you? What do you plan to say or do to them if you find out they didn't live up to their pledge?

What I truly hope is that all parents regardless of their religious affiliations or political or societal leanings will do their children one huge favour and not hold them up to standards that may or may not be possible. For heavens sake, stop thinking about what's happening in their pants and think about what a wonderful thing it is to have a healthy, happen, normal well-adjusted teenager who may or may not be experimenting sexually but you love them just the same, no matter what.

What this world needs most right now is not to be dragged back into the early part of the century. What is needs is compassion. Think about it. No more judging of people, no more holding strangers up to your own personal standards, no more dismissing cultures because they don't follow your rules. Letting people be themselves and truly shine, regardless of their religion, sexuality, gender, education, politics.

What a concept.

Learn more about this author, Catherine M. Harris.
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