by Bonnie Weikel

Created on: May 03, 2008

The old saying that " No one knows what goes on behind closed doors " Is oh so true.

It's amazing what one can learn to hide when living in an abusive relationship. I never realized how abusive my marriage was till I left it behind.

Not many knew how abusive my husband was because he wasn't Physically abusive so their were no marks. His abuse was verbal, mental and emotional.

He spent over 8 yrs. in the military. He was a very demanding, controlling man. Our children were afraid of their father. They new if he told you to jump you best be asking how high. I remember so many nights our son crying himself to sleep asking me why his Daddy hated him. Our Daughter on the other hand was daddy's little girl. She could turn on the tears or bat an eye and she got what she wanted. Surprisingly later in yrs. when our son was diagnosed as ADD/without HD and I spent countless hours trying to help our son our daughter wound up feeling like we favored our son.

I tried to keep our horrendous fights from the children but as they got older it was harder.

I lived in fear.He belittled me to the point he had me actually believing no one else would ever love me but him.I knew he was cheating on me too. All the signs were their but I was in such denial and so scared I stayed as most women do.

I didn't think I had what it took to raise my children alone. And he always threatened he'd never let me have them anyway.

I knew his different facial expressions like the back of my hand. His eyes would glass over with rage and i would pray he just go to sleep but instead he'd go on one of his rampages. It didn't take much to set him off at times. He'd call me every nasty name in the book. Say mean hurtful things to me. And never apologize. He was very demanding with everything. And never took no for an answer. He'd throw things, stomp around the house slamming doors , ranting at the top of his lungs. Finally he'd stop and calm down and act like nothing happened.

Theirs a song that always stuck in my mind " It's hard to kiss the lips at night that chew your ass out all day long " That was my life. No matter what was going on or how sick I was. When he wanted bedroom time it was NOW! Or suffer the consequences being one of his mad tirades.

When our youngest was in his SR. year of high School our family fell apart. Turned out one of his x girlfriends was suing him for child support. The horrible thing about it was the Girl graduated with our Daughter. When the little tart crossed the stage to

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