by Laura Sharp

Created on: May 03, 2008

Growing up, I heard my father say countless times, "There are two sides to every story, and the truth lies somewhere in between." I hated it when he said this, because I knew it meant that either he had just busted me on a slight exaggeration (or, as was sometimes the case, a larger fabrication), or that he was going to listen to someone else's side of the story before believing me.

As an adult, I can now see the value of his words. Giving someone the benefit of the doubt is more than just common courtesy. Doing so can also prevent you from making a grave misjudgment. Each of us approaches situations with our own filters; the lives that we have led mold and shape our value systems so that we perceive situations in a particular way. More often than not, our discernment varies widely from other people's perceptions, causing great room for error and miscommunication. The value of allowing someone the opportunity to tell "their side of the story" is invaluable, whether it is a situation as simple as children fighting over who spilled a glass of milk, or a much larger scale problem, such as adults arguing in court over who committed a crime.

Giving another individual the benefit of the doubt is a great way to hear their side of the story, to learn from their views, and to adapt our own perceptions. By forcing yourself to listen to someone else's opinion or retelling of an event, you can learn more about them. You can then add their experiences and filters to your own, thus making you a more well-rounded individual.

Jumping to conclusions too quickly, or judging others without first hearing their "side of the story," is unfair. By instantly assigning blame, we are focusing on the short-term gratification of instant resolution. This shortchanges our peers, and we all lose out on an opportunity to grow.

Hearing both sides of the story served my father well as both a parent and an employer. His willingness and desire to always hear both sides of the story led others to respect him and value his judgment. Because when it comes down to it, he's right - the truth always lies somewhere in between.

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