by Angelina Brown

Created on: May 02, 2008

Wow, what a hard concept. Top ten things I want. Hmm...let's see.

Number One

Pantyhose that doesn't feel like a boa constrictor is squeezing me from the waist down. If it could be run-proof, that'd be great, too. I'm tired of wrestling myself into a pair of pantyhose and feeling as if I'd just lost a fight with a python only to find a run ascending from my heel to my knee. There should be some way to fix that, right? I mean, we invented Kevlar to stop bullets. Who's going to invent a way to stop runs in pantyhose?

Number Two

That flying car they promised us back in the sixties. The state of roads in this country guarantee a rough ride, no matter how good the suspension in your car. I want to be able to float above it all in a flying car. Of course, they'd have to have a lot more style than George Jetson's glass bubble on a saucer. But, I probably wouldn't be able to own one; I barely pass the vision test for a driver's license so there's no way I'd pass the vision test for a pilot's license and you'd have to have a pilot's license for a flying car, right?

Number Three

My dogs' ability to enjoy life. Whether they're lounging on the sofa, hanging their heads out the car window, or stretched out under the tree in the backyard snoozing, they seem to enjoy their lives. They never worry about paying insurance, saving for retirement, or making sense of the gas prices. In fact, they never seem to worry about who's going to fill the food bowl tomorrow or how they're going to get out to pee in the morning. They seem assured that it's taken care of. Of course, to be able to enjoy my life the way the dogs enjoy theirs, I may have to take up some of their habits, like peeing in public, licking themselves, and eating things they find in the garbage can. Come to think of it, I'll stick to be a worry-wart human, thanks.

Number Four

A balanced checkbook. Either the bank has a calculator that works differently than mine or my handwriting is so illegible that not even I can figure out if it was 28.02 or 28.07. Whatever the cause, my checkbook has been anywhere from fifty dollars to three cent off for years. Just once, I'd like to have it balance and actually match my bank statement. Of course, if that happened, my coping strategy would probably fall apart. I wouldn't need to keep an extra fifty in the account at all times to cover my creative math, would I?

Number Five

Oprah Winfrey's shoe budget. The woman wears Louboutins and Cole-Haans the same way I wear my Goodwill treasures and

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