I have been a recovering alcoholic for 20 years. The most astonishing thing was I didn't know I even had a drinking problem until my life turned upside down and I hit my bottom. My concept of an alcoholic was an old man in a trenchcoat and living on the streets. Little did I know alcoholics can be anyone from anywhere. There are no bonderies for alcoholism.
My experience started at the young age of 13. There was always alcohol in the house and drinking was a way of life for those around me. Werethe members of my family alcoholics? That is not for me to say as they would have to make that distinction. Just suffice it to say using alcohol was a coping tool for life's trouble's.
Partying was a normal behavior for me. I started off a "weekend warrior", just partying on the weekends as most of the people I knew did. Then I started drinking during the week "just to take the edge off."
At this point it was a normal pattern for me. I didn't get falling down drunk. I held my job and paid my bills. I was married to a person who drank a lot and our friends seemed to drink more than I did. I didn't realize my tolerance for alcohol was increasing so I was drinking more.
My marriage was a violent one. I would drink because it was easier to "roll with the punches." Ultimately between the deaths of some family members and friends plus escalating violence in my marriage drinking took over my life. This led me to hitting my bottom. I started to drink more ofetn. I even broke my rule of not drinking at work or before 5 p.m., thus I knew I things were getting out of hand.
After one particularly violent episode, I struck out on a destructive adventure which in turn saved my life. I took to the highway. At that point I didn't care what happened to me.
When I sobered up the next morning I knew I couldn't continue the way I as going. I found the nearest hospital and asked for help. They in turn sent me to a state run rehabilitation unit of the state hospital. There I met a caseworker who assured me I wasn't crazy but the alcohol had taken over my life. She pointed out a woman who was just like me when she first came to that facility but do to her continued use of alcohol now resided there suffering from "wet brain". Wet brain being the result of brain cells killed due to severe alcohol use. I knew I didn't want to end up like this woman.
I was introduced to the Alcoholic Anonymous 12 step program during my hospital stay. As I sat in the meetings listening to the members tell of the things they experienced, I could relate to what they were saying. Here was people who had gone through similar situations and they were just like me. Now they were handling life on life's terms without using alcohol. These people will never know how grateful they were there.
After leaving the hospital I went to a recovery center. Here I stayed for four months. I severed my tie with my husband and decided to start a new life without alcohol. I went to treatment to learn what alcoholism was all about. Ususally a person goes to treatment then recovery home but this was just the way my journey to recovery began.
I continued to attend AA meetings and got involved in recovery work. I eventually work for the same recovery center I where I started my new life journey.
Life since I sobered up hasn't always been easy. I met and married a recovering person who went back to using alcohol. To keep my sobriety I had to leave that marriage. I became a single mother so there were a lot of stressers. But I continued attending meetings and had a lot of support.
Eventually I found and married my current husband. He is also recovering and will be sober 28 years. We not only practice the principals of AA but we have learned to live with steps of AA in our house. We don't allow alcohol in our home.
I wouldn't trade my life now for anything. Life isn't easy sometimes but picking up a drink is no longer the first option that comes to mind. In fact it usually doesn't enter my mind as an option at all. That's not to say drinking never crosses my mind. Even after 20 years that thought does creep in but I can recognize it for what it is, just my alcoholism trying to sneak back in.
I would urge anyone who has problems with alcohol to seek help. Visit your local health department and ask for help. They can steer you to meetings. Some people find sobriety in their churches. It really doesn't matter where you turn for help just so you get help. There are meetings for everyone.
As I heard an oldtimer in AA once say, "Life in sobriety is second to none." I have come to believe that is true. I take life "One Day at a Time."