by Dee Cain

Created on: May 02, 2008   Last Updated: October 31, 2008

I have been a recovering alcoholic for 20 years. The most astonishing thing was I didn't know I even had a drinking problem until my life turned upside down and I hit my bottom. My concept of an alcoholic was an old man in a trenchcoat and living on the streets. Little did I know alcoholics can be anyone from anywhere. There are no bonderies for alcoholism.

My experience started at the young age of 13. There was always alcohol in the house and drinking was a way of life for those around me. Werethe members of my family alcoholics? That is not for me to say as they would have to make that distinction. Just suffice it to say using alcohol was a coping tool for life's trouble's.

Partying was a normal behavior for me. I started off a "weekend warrior", just partying on the weekends as most of the people I knew did. Then I started drinking during the week "just to take the edge off."

At this point it was a normal pattern for me. I didn't get falling down drunk. I held my job and paid my bills. I was married to a person who drank a lot and our friends seemed to drink more than I did. I didn't realize my tolerance for alcohol was increasing so I was drinking more.

My marriage was a violent one. I would drink because it was easier to "roll with the punches." Ultimately between the deaths of some family members and friends plus escalating violence in my marriage drinking took over my life. This led me to hitting my bottom. I started to drink more ofetn. I even broke my rule of not drinking at work or before 5 p.m., thus I knew I things were getting out of hand.

After one particularly violent episode, I struck out on a destructive adventure which in turn saved my life. I took to the highway. At that point I didn't care what happened to me.

When I sobered up the next morning I knew I couldn't continue the way I as going. I found the nearest hospital and asked for help. They in turn sent me to a state run rehabilitation unit of the state hospital. There I met a caseworker who assured me I wasn't crazy but the alcohol had taken over my life. She pointed out a woman who was just like me when she first came to that facility but do to her continued use of alcohol now resided there suffering from "wet brain". Wet brain being the result of brain cells killed due to severe alcohol use. I knew I didn't want to end up like this woman.

I was introduced to the Alcoholic Anonymous 12 step program during my hospital stay. As I sat in the meetings listening to the members tell of the things

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