by fairychild

Created on: May 02, 2008

Most times, it's easy to see the line distinguishing friendship from love. It's clearly marked in your friendships with old school mates, child-hood friends and life-time friends.

But sometimes, in a rare moment and this is in my experience, that line between love and friendship can become blurred.

Some friendships are formed in a single moment either a by shared interests, a deep connection. It brings emotional support, financial support and loyalty. And then there are those people whose presence makes you feel the warmth of the roaring fire inside a snow covered house.

It was only during an unexpected test of my emotions that my line of vision has become obstructed.

This is still very raw and hence still I'm still searching.

You see my closest friend and flatmate (we both have been single since we met) has met this girl whom he is seriously crushing on and from my observation, she feels the same way.

He had been my best friend, my support and my mental stimulation. We've laughed together, fought until we found our way back to our friendship with scars on both our hearts.

We shared many great adventures, losses and life-changing moments. We became so dependent on each other, shutting others out.

But change came and he found he needed more than I could give. It's interesting to point out that when I met him I was nursing a shattered heart. Now, he leaving me behind, and I'm stuck. It was when I first realized he had met someone, that I felt an overwhelming surge of intense hollowness in the pit of my stomach. I felt hot, taken aback and surprisingly hurt.

Now I know my heart is whole again, I can feel, intense pain I never thought I would let myself feel again.

Was friendship or love the deadly cure? He had tried to give me so much and most of the time I stubbornly threw it back. I didn't want to be fixed, I wanted to remain bitter and cold. But he wouldn't let me, he stayed until he warmed my heart.

Now comes the hard part. I have to decide on what I want. I don't know yet but I'm looking forward to the journey back to where I can the see the line, clear and in focus.

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