by Erin Kathleen

Created on: May 02, 2008

I'm pretty great at embarrassing myself and seem to do it quite often. I really don't know why, but for some reason, I tend to either stick my foot in my mouth or trip myself up with it. Either way, I find myself in a frantic sweat with a beet red face and a heart about to burst out of my chest almost on a daily basis. Let me give you a day in the life of me:

It was grocery day at my house, which meant several stores were to be visited in order to get the most for my money. The first store I visited quickly took most of my paycheck as my cart filled to it's rim (I blame this on grocery shopping on an empty stomach). So, with a very full cart and much lighter pocket book, I headed towards my car through the parking lot. As I slow to a stop at the back of my car, I notice a very handsome man unloading his cart a couple cars down from mine. Suddenly, I needed to look and act as sultry and unsuspecting as possible...while unloading tampons, diapers, and Juicy Juice from my cart. I felt like it was going really well, and decided to give my friend a call while I finished up. After I grabbed my phone from the front seat of the car, I rounded the corner just in time to watch my half-full cart start to tip over. I rushed over and frantically tried to hold it still. No luck. Down it went, crushing my bread and breaking my eggs. My body was suddenly covered with fever and a droplet of sweat was already making it's way into my right eye. As I lay there, picking up what food hadn't been ruined, I felt someone walk up to me. With a flirty tone, I say "I guess grocery shopping shouldn't be left up to women alone, huh?" Ready with my sexiest smile, I look up at my handsome hero...to see a very large women with a curious look on her face. "Well who the heck else is gonna do it?!" Just then, I notice that my gallon of milk has emptied and it's trail has made it all the way to the handsome man's foot. He looks down, then takes a quick glance at me, and hops in his car.

The large woman yells for her children to come help the "silly lady" with her groceries. Two kids, a girl and a boy, jump out of a pea-green windowless van and help me with my things. They look very close in age, and I mention my observation for some kind of small talk. The woman tells me they are twins and informs me of their age. I politely say something along the lines of "Well, your daughter is just beautiful and I bet your son gets all the ladies, huh?" I give the little boy a quick wink.

The mother looks like

• 1
• 2
• Next Page >>