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Humor: When the federal government attempts to fix the economy

by Vicki Andis

Created on: May 01, 2008

The federal government has begun sending out stimulus payments to taxpayers, to attempt to fix the sluggish economy. The amounts of the checks vary, and even the larger amounts are not exactly what I would call a "windfall".

While I doubt that anyone would return their money, it really isn't going to do much to actually help out the average taxpayer. For instance, if you receive a $300.00 check, you could go to the grocery store, and end up with five or six bags of groceries, you could pay about a quarter of your monthly rent, (if you live in Orange County), or perhaps you could even fill up your gas tank. Most of us have lots of bills, such as cell phone bills, electric, gas, water, and cable bills, and more. The check from the federal government would probably cover at least two of these bills, which of course will appear again the following month.

I have thought about it, and come up with several ways to actually "fix" the economy.

If you are going to send out stimulus checks, make them large enough to actually help. If everyone received a check for at least $5,000.00, that would make a difference. People could attempt to pay off some debts, or spend their money on necessities that would give the retailers a boost, ultimately helping the economy.

How about having everyone combine all of their money, and dividing it up equally among the population? Hmmmm, this solution would make the very poor citizens extremely happy, while the rich folks might not like it too well. At least everyone would be equal for a short while, though I suspect that it wouldn't be long before we'd be right back in the same boat.

The government could print up enough money to give every citizen a million dollars. This would be great! We'd be a nation of millionaires, the economy would be over the top, and everyone would be happy. Seems like a win, win, idea to me.

Perhaps the best idea would be to have all of the people who run the country work for an hourly rate. Start them out at $10.00 an hour, and go from there. Of course the very top people, such as the president, vice-president, and a few others, would start out at about $20.00 and hour.

We would dispense with all of the "perks" these people receive, such as luxury cars, yachts, huge mansions, paid vacations to Tahiti, and anything else that costs a fortune. All of the money we would save would go a long way toward fixing the economy.

This being a humor piece, I am making these ideas up as I go. I am a taxpaying citizen, work for a living, and do my best to vote. They say that laughter makes you feel better, so the next time you think about the economy and the federal government's attempt to fix it, laugh!

Learn more about this author, Vicki Andis.
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