by Robin Tidwell

Created on: May 01, 2008   Last Updated: May 04, 2009

Potty training methods are highly controversial, especially determining the "best" age to begin. At what age a child should be fully trained is also highly debatable. Several decades ago, these were not dilemmas - children were shown what to do and most of them did it. No one worried about self-esteem or other psychological issues that could arise if a parent used a "wrong" method. And that's the problem today. Parents are terrified of their own children, scared that they will somehow damage their psyche. Nothing could be farther from the truth.

Potty training as early as possible has particular advantages; certainly no one should advocate training a child who cannot yet walk, as this defeats at least part of the purpose of teaching independence. When a child is potty trained, he will experience the joy of accomplishment, a dry/clean hiney, and control over himself - ergo, independence. Parents will likewise benefit, as their diaper-changing time is now diminished and the cost of child-raising will exponentially decrease due to fewer supplies required. Signs that your child may be "ready" include waking up with a dry diaper, showing interest in the parents' bathroom activities, and pausing during play while obviously having a "moment".

An excellent first-birthday gift is a potty seat; it's the right size and made just for such things as potty training. Put the seat in the living room, or family room, or bathroom - wherever the child can have easy access, preferably under some supervision. Let the child play with it, in it, on it. Let him become accustomed to it. Let the child follow the parent into the bathroom to learn "how it's done". As every Mom knows, kids will follow you into the bathroom anyway, so you might as well take advantage of this.

Once you catch the child pulling at his diaper in the presence of the potty seat, and you will, remove the diaper and place the child on the seat. Keep him there, by fair means or foul, for a few minutes; read a book, play a hand game, whatever. If he performs, tell him "great job", clean him up, re-diaper, and send him on his way. Do this almost every time you catch him "trying".

At this point it should be obvious - the child is tired of walking around in icky diapers and wants to be a "big boy". Let him sit on the potty seat when he gets up, after breakfast, before and after lunch, before and after naps, and any other time he shows interest. Keep him on a schedule, and yes, this can be labor-intensive - but it works. Within a very short time, weeks even, potty-training can be a done deal. Nighttime training may take a bit longer, but merely try to limit liquids after dinner, and soon your toddler will also be dry throughout the night.

Yes, there are exceptions: some children scream and fight the toilet and the potty seat; some children show little interest until they're older. These are the exceptions, however, and not the rule. If your child is a fighter, teach him to be unafraid of this "monster"; if he shows no interest, teach him the importance of this issue. Children can be messy and dirty, during play, during sleep, and while wearing diapers - some of them aren't fazed in the least. But your job, as a parent, is to teach your child; and this is one of the biggest things your child needs to learn - hygiene and self-care.

Regardless of how you undertake potty training, it must be done. While no child has ever still been in diapers at his high school graduation, some do indeed start kindergarten in this fashion - and these are children who will be taught to use scissors. Don't be afraid, don't worry about scarring your child. All children can do this, and most can accomplish it by their third birthday.

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